DROWNING

26 04 2011

 

Hopeless, I’ve given up

Content, with what life had given me

Saddened, by why my heart was missing

Depressed and in despair was all around

So I took a long walk

To a pier I had visited once before

As I let my feet get closer and closer to the edge

I was overwhelmed with fear

But feeling life had nothing else to offer

I continued to the edge

As I looked over at this ocean before

I thought of the pain this could cause

The heartache, the tears

I also thought about the joys of life

The hugs, the kisses, the smiles

The love and the love making

In spite of my mind fighting against my heart

I jumped in and began to drown

Once I was in,

My natural instinct was to fight

I kicked and screamed

Not wanting to succumb to the waves

But my efforts were in vain

My mind gave into my heart

And I began to take you in

I was engulfed

You filled my lungs

My thoughts, my desire were consumed by you

I felt you all around me

Holding me, carrying me, moving me

Loving me

I am completely saturated by your love

You are in me

And I am in love with you

Where you flow I flow

I am drowning in your love

And have no desire to be saved





Shoulders

2 01 2011

Broad and wide

Run my fingers up and down

Strong and thick

Wrap my arms all around

When I lose

Your shoulders I cry on

When I win

Your shoulders I ride on

 Pressed against me

Brings the greatest pleasure

Lying within them

Bring  feelings I cannot measure

Strong enough for me to lean on

Soft enough to lean on me

Shoulders

Wide enough to protect me from harm

Shoulders

Soft enough to make me feel safe and warm

I love your shoulders

Still Loving and Crushing

Good night Gorgeous

Hope





My Secret Love Affair

17 08 2010

What did I do and what do I do now…..

 Ok…. So after the first date’s kiss….which was just a small peck….although I wanted to jump on, fully devour and digest him…. I restrained myself and it was just a simple good night kiss….just enough to get a taste and leave a strong desire for wanting more….

 And while our second, third and forth dates have been great…. And the kissing has gotten deeper and longer I am constantly asking myself what did I do…

 Our friendship has not changed… in fact I think its growing stronger…which is a good thing…

 What has changed is our work relationship…while I love keeping things on the low…and I find it very exciting…its getting harder and harder to do…. And I think people are starting to notice…

 Now when he sits in my office work is not mentioned, in company meetings we are finishing each others sentences and bringing up conversations that were not had in a business frame of mind…. We are eyeballing each other from across the room  and there’s a lot of giggling and smiling…. We walk past each other and our hands automatically reach for each others hand….then we realize where we are.

 I feel like I am in a secret love affair….and I actually like it…. I mean we are grown right…. We shouldn’t have to hide this… we are both single, willing and eager to date each other…. Right….

 We are trying our best to keep business from getting personal….but I don’t think its working….. Our lives are intertwining and interchanging…. And we can’t stop it….. But that’s a good thing…..

 It will all be out in the open soon enough…. He told me the other day…he has always had a desire to be a chef and have his own restaurant… he wanted to know if I would still like him if he was to start a new career…..

 Is he crazy….LIKE HIM?

 I told him I would stand by him in whatever he decided to do…as long as he was doing it for him and not for me, that I didn’t want him to give up his dream job or happiness and regret it later….

 He said I make him happy and he thinks he would regret it he didn’t pursue our relationship fully…

Aaaawwwww.. C’mon guys… you gotta love him….

 None the less, I think it may be too soon in our relationship to make such life changing moves…. But that could just be my trust issues kicking in….

 Speaking of too soon…he wants to take me to see a Broadway show in NY….. This would require an overnight stay possibly a whole weekend….  That’s a big step…

But we are adults….we could sleep together without sleeping together…right….

Oh how i miss the days of just crushing…

 Should I go…. Would you…. We will see…

 Till then,

 Hey Gorgeous….meet me in the coat room at noon 😉

 Hope





You Are Music To My Ears

9 08 2010

You know sometimes when you just cant find the words to say, a song comes on the radio that just says it for you.

As I sit here looking in your eyes, these words from my favorite song comes to mind….

 How did you get here, nobody’s supposed to be here.

Remember those walls I built, baby there tumbling down

I know you see me watching you and I see you watching me, temptation is calling, got me wanting you so bad I could cry

 You’re the kind of guy that makes a guy that makes a girl smile, You’re the kind of guy that drives a girl wild,

 I’m saving every voice mail, reading in between the lines, All of a sudden my vision became so clear, I want you exclusive

 You have become like a bad habit, the more I consume you, the more I gotta have you….

 From the moment your lips said hi, I pictured your name with mine

 I never thought I’d fall for you as hard as I did, you got me thinking of us a house and kids, Love knocked me on my face, in this race, I’ve already won 1st place

 I’ll admit I was scared to answer loves call, but it hit and is worth the fall, Love knocks you down

 I don’t believe we were put together, not to be together.

 I never knew love like this before

How did you know, cause I never told, you found out, I’ve got a crush on you

 So baby hold me, like you don’t wanna let go… I’m feeling foxy, now that I’ve had a taste of your honey I want the whole bee hive…

Work it out

 SEXY CAN I…..

I like your smile

 When you look in my eyes, I get emotional

You turning me on

 We fell in love with just one kiss

 It’s too big, too wide, won’t fit…. He got a big…. EGO 😉

Share my world

 I think I    L-O-V-E-Y-O-U

 You’re the one for me

Hey Gorgeous,

Still playing it cool, but its getting hot in here…

Hope





Are You Listening To me?

6 08 2010

First Date

 

Ok so when he asked me where I wanted to go, I said the typical girl thing…. I don’t know…anywhere is fine…. 

Now mind you, me and this man have had conversations over the past 2 years or so…about everything…and I do mean everything… 

Remember we were just friends and co-workers.  It was not our intention to start a dating relationship.  So our past conversations have been about dating, sex, friendship, love, men and women….we have even talked about our bad dates and given each other advice on our genders and dating.  We have discussed in somewhat too intimate details our likes and dislikes….and now as I sit here and write this… I wonder if somehow in the back of our minds we knew this day would come and we were just preparing ourselves for it….. Anyway… 

I told him I didn’t care what we did as long as I could wear jeans….since my last birthday  I have developed a jean and boot fetish… 

So when he arrived I was happy to see that he was wearing jeans…. An although I could tell they were brand new… I must say, he looked very good in them… 

 I asked where we were going and he said it’s a surprise…. Now let me back track a little… this date had originally been set for 6:30 pm, but during the week when we talked he asked if we could change it to a late lunch type thing and do it around 4:00 instead…of course I agreed, but I couldn’t help wondering if this was because he wanted to get it over and done with….you know do it early so if it wasn’t going well he could breakout and not have his whole night ruined… 

 So as I opened the door…he is holding a bouquet…. Now in past conversations I know I mentioned hate flowers….well hate is a strong word…I very strongly dislike flowers… I know that’s weird…what woman doesn’t like flowers…this one…. I don’t even like fake ones…Now I am thankful and cordial to anyone who gives them to me…but lets just say they are starved for attention and die quickly…so when I see him standing there with a bouquet of chocolate covered strawberries… you know the kind you get from those edible bouquet places… I can’t imagine how crazy I must have looked with he biggest grin ever…because he listened when I said I didn’t like flowers and that chocolate covered strawberries were my absolute favorite thing in the world….wow…. 

 So we get in the car and are not lacking in conversation….but I notice we have been driving well over an hour and a half… so of course now I am wondering if he is that ax murder again and is taking me somewhere where they will never find the body….remember guys I have trust issues…so this is hard for me…. So again I ask where we are going and he says, softly “be patient”…. the nerve. 

 So when we pull up to the parking lot of our destination… I couldn’t help but look perplexed… 

A dinner theater.  Showing GREASE no less….what the heck was he thinking….we drove over 2 hours to see Grease… 

I tried to smile like…. Oh I’ve always wanted to see group of bad and unknown actors react an old 80’s film…but he knows me all to well and before we walked in he said he could tell I was not happy, and asked if I wanted to go somewhere else…of course I said no… I mean we drove all this way…he must be a big Grease fan…. Then he said he thought I would enjoy something like this….WHY… 

He went on to say…. “ When we first met, I asked you , why would you move from a great city like NY to this small country town, and what you missed most about NY, and you told me ‘going to  Broadway shows and dinner with your girlfriends’… so this is the closest thing to Broadway I could think of without actually taking you to Broadway…which I thought might be too much for a first date” 

                                        Aaaaaaawwwwwww 

Can you guys see why I love this man? 

 What could I say….A man who actually listens to what I have said and took it into consideration when planning our first date…. 

The only thing I was thinking is ….somebody is going to get some tonight 🙂 

 SOOOO… the play sucked, but the food turned out to be surprisingly good, the conversation was engaging, the ride home was not long enough, …and we made plans for a second date….can’t wait to see he has planned… 

You guys want me to play it cool, I don’t know if I can.  Could You? 

 We will see.  

By the way those strawberries were perfectly sweet, but they paled in comparison to the taste of his lips.  

We just kissed people. 

 Thank You Gorgeous 

 Hope





Don’t Sweat It

5 08 2010

This is just a side note…. I am getting to the date guys…..

 Call it nit-picking, being fickle or too picky…. But I am one of those women who is hard to impress and easy to turn off.  There are certain test that must be passed for a successful dating relationship.  I know everybody has pet peeves but I think mine are a bit extreme… like  I flip out if my kids just push the cereal bag down in the box instead of folding it….my towels have to be folded a certain way…toilet tissue comes from under not over…I know these are normal right?…

 Because of my peeves I have stop dating some guys and others never even made it to a second date…what are they you ask….

 Outrageous or sloppy chewing, you know the kind when either the mouth is just functioning in a non-human way or food is just flying everywhere.

 Then there is a bad kisser…now kissing, to me is the most sensual thing you could do…. If you want to get me in he mood a good kiss is all you need…I don’t want to be sucked in and digested, nor do I want to go for a swim.  I don’t want to be gagged by your tongue or taste what you had for dinner.  I don’t want my head pressed painfully against a wall.  I want to be left breathless, but not because of the pressure you are  putting on my neck.  My lips are a delicacy, treat them that way…..if you don’t know what to do, just follow my lead.

 Smokers, scruffy faces, mix matched clothes, smelly breath, smelly body, sloppy posture, dirty nails,

 Chest hair, some find it sexy…. I am not one…

 And my absolute biggest one… the one I get teased about by my sister and the one that has stopped me and men in our tracks

                                               SWEATING

                                                                                     EEEEEWWWWW

 I am one of those rare people who does not sweat, so you can understand why.  Now mind you…in extreme heat and I do mean extreme, or extreme cases and I do mean extreme cases of nerves I may let it slide…. But when we are in an air-conditioned restaurant having ice cream, there’s no need.  I am not talking about a drip here or there,  even though well eeewww, any way…I have stopped in the act of…you know what…because of sweat.  As I see it bead up… I lose focus, can’t think, want to run….

 So to answer your emails, I am not married, because I am extremely picky 🙂 …but  I do thank you for your concern and care for me….

 But thanks to Gorgeous, all that has changed….

 So do I tell him, Would you?

 We will see,

Good day Gorgeous,

Hope





First Date, 1st base or Home Run, How Far Do You Go?

12 07 2010

Ok… I may be a little out of the loop here…. How far do you go on a first date these days….

Back in my day…wow I never thought I’d ever say that….anyway…you never  kissed on the first date and definitely didn’t go any further unless you were that type of girl….

 According to my kids at the youth center…. The game has changed…. First base is no longer kissing or holding hands….but its doing other things with your mouth, the you skip straight to the home run…. What’s happening here… am I so out of touch with he dating world….

 I am a god Christian woman…. I would never think of doing any of those things with someone on a first date…. I would have to know him very well and for a while first 🙂 ….

 So how far is too far…. On a first date

 Kissing, good…                                                     licking, bad

Holding hands, good…..                                    Stroking with hands, bad

Dancing rhythmically, good…..                     Other rhythmic movements, bad

Cuddling till you fall asleep, good                 Sleeping with each other, bad

Tickling, good….                                                   Tickling bad

Touching, good….                                                Touching bad    

 Orgasmic date, good                                           Orgasm, Never bad 😉

Should I really be worried about whether I went to far or not…. I am a grown woman… I am entitled, aren’t I?  And I have known him for quite a while…

 But I do have to see him again…and I should be able to look him in the face, and take this relationship to the next level.

 So how far did I go…..   I will let you know in my next post…            

 Good Night Gorgeous

Hope