My Secret Love Affair

17 08 2010

What did I do and what do I do now…..

 Ok…. So after the first date’s kiss….which was just a small peck….although I wanted to jump on, fully devour and digest him…. I restrained myself and it was just a simple good night kiss….just enough to get a taste and leave a strong desire for wanting more….

 And while our second, third and forth dates have been great…. And the kissing has gotten deeper and longer I am constantly asking myself what did I do…

 Our friendship has not changed… in fact I think its growing stronger…which is a good thing…

 What has changed is our work relationship…while I love keeping things on the low…and I find it very exciting…its getting harder and harder to do…. And I think people are starting to notice…

 Now when he sits in my office work is not mentioned, in company meetings we are finishing each others sentences and bringing up conversations that were not had in a business frame of mind…. We are eyeballing each other from across the room  and there’s a lot of giggling and smiling…. We walk past each other and our hands automatically reach for each others hand….then we realize where we are.

 I feel like I am in a secret love affair….and I actually like it…. I mean we are grown right…. We shouldn’t have to hide this… we are both single, willing and eager to date each other…. Right….

 We are trying our best to keep business from getting personal….but I don’t think its working….. Our lives are intertwining and interchanging…. And we can’t stop it….. But that’s a good thing…..

 It will all be out in the open soon enough…. He told me the other day…he has always had a desire to be a chef and have his own restaurant… he wanted to know if I would still like him if he was to start a new career…..

 Is he crazy….LIKE HIM?

 I told him I would stand by him in whatever he decided to do…as long as he was doing it for him and not for me, that I didn’t want him to give up his dream job or happiness and regret it later….

 He said I make him happy and he thinks he would regret it he didn’t pursue our relationship fully…

Aaaawwwww.. C’mon guys… you gotta love him….

 None the less, I think it may be too soon in our relationship to make such life changing moves…. But that could just be my trust issues kicking in….

 Speaking of too soon…he wants to take me to see a Broadway show in NY….. This would require an overnight stay possibly a whole weekend….  That’s a big step…

But we are adults….we could sleep together without sleeping together…right….

Oh how i miss the days of just crushing…

 Should I go…. Would you…. We will see…

 Till then,

 Hey Gorgeous….meet me in the coat room at noon 😉

 Hope

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Don’t Sweat It

5 08 2010

This is just a side note…. I am getting to the date guys…..

 Call it nit-picking, being fickle or too picky…. But I am one of those women who is hard to impress and easy to turn off.  There are certain test that must be passed for a successful dating relationship.  I know everybody has pet peeves but I think mine are a bit extreme… like  I flip out if my kids just push the cereal bag down in the box instead of folding it….my towels have to be folded a certain way…toilet tissue comes from under not over…I know these are normal right?…

 Because of my peeves I have stop dating some guys and others never even made it to a second date…what are they you ask….

 Outrageous or sloppy chewing, you know the kind when either the mouth is just functioning in a non-human way or food is just flying everywhere.

 Then there is a bad kisser…now kissing, to me is the most sensual thing you could do…. If you want to get me in he mood a good kiss is all you need…I don’t want to be sucked in and digested, nor do I want to go for a swim.  I don’t want to be gagged by your tongue or taste what you had for dinner.  I don’t want my head pressed painfully against a wall.  I want to be left breathless, but not because of the pressure you are  putting on my neck.  My lips are a delicacy, treat them that way…..if you don’t know what to do, just follow my lead.

 Smokers, scruffy faces, mix matched clothes, smelly breath, smelly body, sloppy posture, dirty nails,

 Chest hair, some find it sexy…. I am not one…

 And my absolute biggest one… the one I get teased about by my sister and the one that has stopped me and men in our tracks

                                               SWEATING

                                                                                     EEEEEWWWWW

 I am one of those rare people who does not sweat, so you can understand why.  Now mind you…in extreme heat and I do mean extreme, or extreme cases and I do mean extreme cases of nerves I may let it slide…. But when we are in an air-conditioned restaurant having ice cream, there’s no need.  I am not talking about a drip here or there,  even though well eeewww, any way…I have stopped in the act of…you know what…because of sweat.  As I see it bead up… I lose focus, can’t think, want to run….

 So to answer your emails, I am not married, because I am extremely picky 🙂 …but  I do thank you for your concern and care for me….

 But thanks to Gorgeous, all that has changed….

 So do I tell him, Would you?

 We will see,

Good day Gorgeous,

Hope





First Date, 1st base or Home Run, How Far Do You Go?

12 07 2010

Ok… I may be a little out of the loop here…. How far do you go on a first date these days….

Back in my day…wow I never thought I’d ever say that….anyway…you never  kissed on the first date and definitely didn’t go any further unless you were that type of girl….

 According to my kids at the youth center…. The game has changed…. First base is no longer kissing or holding hands….but its doing other things with your mouth, the you skip straight to the home run…. What’s happening here… am I so out of touch with he dating world….

 I am a god Christian woman…. I would never think of doing any of those things with someone on a first date…. I would have to know him very well and for a while first 🙂 ….

 So how far is too far…. On a first date

 Kissing, good…                                                     licking, bad

Holding hands, good…..                                    Stroking with hands, bad

Dancing rhythmically, good…..                     Other rhythmic movements, bad

Cuddling till you fall asleep, good                 Sleeping with each other, bad

Tickling, good….                                                   Tickling bad

Touching, good….                                                Touching bad    

 Orgasmic date, good                                           Orgasm, Never bad 😉

Should I really be worried about whether I went to far or not…. I am a grown woman… I am entitled, aren’t I?  And I have known him for quite a while…

 But I do have to see him again…and I should be able to look him in the face, and take this relationship to the next level.

 So how far did I go…..   I will let you know in my next post…            

 Good Night Gorgeous

Hope





He Proposed…And Of Course I said YES

6 07 2010

Ok…ok… people pick your jaws up off the floor…. I am just kidding….although….

 I was more than impressed by him….. Let me back track a little….

I was seriously nervous about having him over…not because it would sort of be our first date…. But because after I said yes to him coming over for my family BBQ…. I realized it was my FAMILY BBQ….and everyone would be there…aunts, uncles, parents and Jeff, y’all remember him right?…

All those stereotypical families you see on TV… that’s my family…

 I have the old southern aunts that all they sit around and talk about all day everyday, is having a man…needing a man and wanting a man…

I have the uncle who always has to control the grill only to burn most of the food and undercook the rest….

 Then there is my father… well lets just say… I am his daughter and have never been married…and because  am very secretive…he has only met one of my boyfriends, my sons father…so the thought of me being with someone would send him over the top.

Now let me tell you about this wonderful man…. My BBQ was to start at 12pm.  He showed up at 10:30am, to help me get everything set up, and if that wasn’t sweet enough, he brought flowers.  I introduced him to my father as a coworker, which I thought was ok.

 The day went pretty much as I thought it would… I didn’t get to spend a lot of  one on one time with him…trying to balance him and my family…so this was definitely not the ideal first date.  I did however get to see him in action and see how and if he would fit in with my extended family.  He did not disappoint.

 He chatted with my dad as if they were old friends….flirted with my aunts and when I noticed that uncle Johnny was not at the grill, I asked him how he did it and he said…and I quote “I simply told him, I am more than just a coworker, and he is a guest in our home”.       

                                                          I love this man.

 The only problem of the night was Jeff, who was clearly seriously jealous.  But that’s another time, another post.

 The last guest left  “OUR” home at about 11:30… he stayed to help me clean up.

 He finally left at 2am…and I have to say I was very disappointed… he didn’t ask me out again, so I figured either my family scared him off….or he felt we were better off…just being friends…. Oh well it is what it is…

 Then at 2:37am called me…and we talked till 7am…and not once did we mention work or anything work related.  He also asked if we could have a “real date”  and Saturday and of course I said yes… 🙂

 So for the next 4 days… I will have butterflies in my stomach…and I have to see him tomorrow…  I hope I can contain myself…

 So…should I tell him of my huge crush on our date…or should I play it cool….

 We will see

 Good Night Gorgeous

Hope





My Hearts Tripple Bypass

2 07 2010

The Symptoms

 My heart aches every time you come around, but it also aches when you’re not there.

I pant heavily in your presence and at the thought of you.

It palpitates, I sweat, get wet, I have hot flashes.

I get giggly and giddy.

My legs get weak, my body shivers.

I forget what I was thinking or about to say.

I often stare blankly, daydreaming.

I can’t sleep and when I do I dream of you.

 Diagnoses

HEARTSLUVSITIS — in laymen’s terms, I am in love.

 The Cure

 To bypass — My past hurts and pain

To bypass —  My fears and worries

To bypass — complications, inhibitions and resistance

The Treatment

 To find a surgeon skilled enough to handle my heart with all of it’s delicate pieces.  A surgeon who can hold it tenderly  in is hands as he brings it back from the dead.  Gently kissing it with his instruments, holding it, squeezing, stroking, pumping comforting and assuring it, it will never break again.  Placing it back where it belongs and monitoring it for the rest of it’s life.

                                  To Open my heart and let you in.  Completely

 The Surgeon

 You.  DR. David.  I entrust you with this task.  I have made an appointment to schedule this procedure. 

                                                          Fix me.  Heal me.  Love me.

 So for those of you who may have difficulty reading in between the lines.  I sort of asked him out.  I say sort of because the conversation went like this.

 Me:  Sooo, what are you doing for the 4th

Him: The usual, hanging out at home alone…. You?

Me:  I have some family coming over for a BBQ

Him: Sounds like fun, I like spending time with family

Me: yeah me too, sometimes (nervous laugh as I am about to ask him the big question)

        (WAIT FOR IT, WAIT FOR IT…….)

Him: (Laugh) can I come?

Me:  🙂

 So, You got me open, now what, What’s next,

We will see

Good Afternoon Gorgeous,

Hope





DAVID

1 07 2010

He's is nothing compared to you babe.

As I sit here in my office staring at you I ask myself when did I change.  I have never been attracted to tall men before.  But as I wipe the drool from my mouth, I can’t help but to imagine my fingers following, touching every inch of your 6’2 astonishing frame…

  My mind wonders what you must think of me in that brain of yours that is so intelligent, I am captivated by your every word and yet it is discerning enough to separate my needs from my wants and provide me with my desires.

 My fingers playing in your head, other head people :), as your bronze hair is cascading across your brow at the perfect length to tickle my belly as you kiss me there.

Your face so clear, precise, perfectly formed and chiseled that I can only imagine the awe on the faces of the angels as YOU were created in his image.

 Your ears are the perfect handle bar to pull you closer, so tasty, yet flexible enough to not just listen to, but hear my whispers.

 Your eyes that although seem to change colors, always reflect the deepest love in your soul.  And in them I see our future.

 Your lips so impeccably sculpted, screaming kiss me, they speak to my every desire and draw me in with every breath.

 As I lean into you, your scent has my hormones doing somersaults.

 Your shoulders so broad and wide they can hold my whole world, yet comforting enough for me to lay my head.

 Arms so muscular they are strong enough to hold all my dreams and gentle enough to embrace all of me.

 Hands that hold on to mine, firmly gripping my passion and gently glide to the warmest parts of my being.

 A pulsating chest that every rise and fall sends waves of emotions through every part of me.   A heart that bleeds love, kindness, life and every beat is music to my ears.

 Abs that ripple so perfectly like a maze leading down to that not so hidden manly bulge the makes me … 🙂 bananas.

 A back so powerfully built, and prominently braced to withstand the pressures of life.  As I follow its river flowing from the valleys to the marvelous hills below.

 Legs that are long and lean running away from no one and only towards me.  They stand firm in their beliefs, buckle in my presence and bow in divine reverence.

Feet that are firmly planted and unmovable, in those size 13 shoes that I will follow anywhere and everywhere.

David, dare I speak your name.  David, I want to scream your name.   David, I want to take your name.

David         DAVid       DAVID…

If Michael Angelo laid eyes on you, he would take a hammer to his David, because he pales in comparison to mine.

 So I have decided to tell him, question is How.  How would you?

We will see

Good Day Gorgeous David,

 Hope





I Blogged In Your Zone, Do You Validate?

30 06 2010

Blogging Zone

 

 Crush Crew Commentary 

 Did you know there were 3 steps to blogging? 

 Step 1 

To Write 

 The decision to create a blog is not and easy one.  Since most blogs are about everyday events in the life of the writer, the idea of putting your private thoughts out there and can be scary.  Bloggers take a chance on the “real people” in their lives finding out their inner most secrets.  The blog tells all and spares no one.  

 The true blogger is constantly thinking about that next post.  To the true blogger, posting is not just some nilly willy, combination of words and phrases you throw on a page.  But it is truly art.   An expression of yourself and  extension of the conversation you would have with the world if given a giant mic.  Yes there are days when you just put something together to let your followers know that you are still alive, but for the most part, it takes some serious thought.  

 To write is to breathe.  To release, to distress, to blog.  Blogging has become a great necessity. A part of your everyday life.  A must on your to do list. 

 Part 2 

To read 

As bloggers we are connected to a special community.  A community of like-minded people who have decided to put their world on display.  And although there are hundreds of thousands of bloggers out there that makes us unique.  We are bold, daring, inspirational, blunt, brilliant and sometimes foolish.  So we want to see who else is out there. 

 We read the blogs of others to get inspiration for our own.  To get encouragement that writing about one’s life is not a self-centered, egotistical thing to do but a much-needed dose of medicine that society desperately needs.  Proven by the fact that there actually other people doing the same thing.  We read to bring excitement to our own somewhat mundane lives.  We read so that we can say, Hey someone else is worse off or in the same boat as I am.  We read because if its something we should have thought of , are surprised by, or are passionate about, we get to put our 2 cents in, without writing a whole blog about it.   And we read for validation.  For ourselves and to each other. 

 Part 3 

To validate 

 Lets face the truth here.  We all want validation for anything we do in life.  Blogging is no different.  Well there is one difference, we crave it.  Desperately.  We check our stats, constantly, and smile big when we see them go up.  We get all giddy when our inbox says “comment reply”.  And if we get a “please moderate” we leap for joy, because this means a new reader. 

 As bloggers, we love to write, but nothing brings us greater joy than to be READ.  It means our voice is being heard. 

 How do we validate each other, by leaving comments.  Comments is a way of saying I hear you, I don’t have to agree with you, but I hear you. 

 Have you ever had a conversation with someone, only to have them not respond to you or give you a blank stare…. You just know they are not listening and you feel like you are wasting time trying to talk to them.  There is no conversation it is a lecture, only no one is listening. 

 Leaving a comment on someone’s blog is one of the most important things you can do for a blogger.  (outside of making the fressly pressed page of course 🙂 )Comments is a way of saying I hear you, I don’t have to agree with you, but I hear you. 

 Comments allow us to have a conversation with our readers, even if just for a moment.  

 Think about this, when you call someone and get their voice mail, you leave a message.  Why because you want them to know you called.  Or when you go to the doctor, don’t you tell them you are there.  Even better, would you go to someone’s home, use their bathroom, eat their food, watch a movie with them and leave without even saying “HELLO”… no because that would be rude.  You don’t go to a restaurant and eat and leave without paying the bill, but more importantly leaving a tip, because the tip is a validation of good food and service.  

 As a blogger, I am happy to see my stats reach into the thousands….but I am even more happy when I know who those readers are and what they thought of what I wrote. 

The Golden Rule…. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you… 

 So the next time you read someone’s blog, whether it’s about the world cup, body image, Obama, BP oil spill or their beautiful little girl,  take a moment to validate them.  Take a moment to leave a comment, to let them know you were there.  Isn’t that what you want for your blog. 

 And while I enjoy all the personal emails, after all that is why I make sure my email address is in every post 🙂 leave me a comment in the comment box, not email…or at least leave the comment first, then email me.  Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate all the great friends I have made and speak to via email…but you guys email me such great comments, I’d like to share them with all my readers. 

 And remember the ultimate validation is reposting someone’s great post on you blog.  So feel free to repost this one 🙂 

 Thank you all for taking the time to read my blog…and giving me the validation I needed to continue blogging….and I thank you in advance for the comments you will leave. 

 Crushing on you, 

 Hope