I Blogged In Your Zone, Do You Validate?

30 06 2010

Blogging Zone


 Crush Crew Commentary 

 Did you know there were 3 steps to blogging? 

 Step 1 

To Write 

 The decision to create a blog is not and easy one.  Since most blogs are about everyday events in the life of the writer, the idea of putting your private thoughts out there and can be scary.  Bloggers take a chance on the “real people” in their lives finding out their inner most secrets.  The blog tells all and spares no one.  

 The true blogger is constantly thinking about that next post.  To the true blogger, posting is not just some nilly willy, combination of words and phrases you throw on a page.  But it is truly art.   An expression of yourself and  extension of the conversation you would have with the world if given a giant mic.  Yes there are days when you just put something together to let your followers know that you are still alive, but for the most part, it takes some serious thought.  

 To write is to breathe.  To release, to distress, to blog.  Blogging has become a great necessity. A part of your everyday life.  A must on your to do list. 

 Part 2 

To read 

As bloggers we are connected to a special community.  A community of like-minded people who have decided to put their world on display.  And although there are hundreds of thousands of bloggers out there that makes us unique.  We are bold, daring, inspirational, blunt, brilliant and sometimes foolish.  So we want to see who else is out there. 

 We read the blogs of others to get inspiration for our own.  To get encouragement that writing about one’s life is not a self-centered, egotistical thing to do but a much-needed dose of medicine that society desperately needs.  Proven by the fact that there actually other people doing the same thing.  We read to bring excitement to our own somewhat mundane lives.  We read so that we can say, Hey someone else is worse off or in the same boat as I am.  We read because if its something we should have thought of , are surprised by, or are passionate about, we get to put our 2 cents in, without writing a whole blog about it.   And we read for validation.  For ourselves and to each other. 

 Part 3 

To validate 

 Lets face the truth here.  We all want validation for anything we do in life.  Blogging is no different.  Well there is one difference, we crave it.  Desperately.  We check our stats, constantly, and smile big when we see them go up.  We get all giddy when our inbox says “comment reply”.  And if we get a “please moderate” we leap for joy, because this means a new reader. 

 As bloggers, we love to write, but nothing brings us greater joy than to be READ.  It means our voice is being heard. 

 How do we validate each other, by leaving comments.  Comments is a way of saying I hear you, I don’t have to agree with you, but I hear you. 

 Have you ever had a conversation with someone, only to have them not respond to you or give you a blank stare…. You just know they are not listening and you feel like you are wasting time trying to talk to them.  There is no conversation it is a lecture, only no one is listening. 

 Leaving a comment on someone’s blog is one of the most important things you can do for a blogger.  (outside of making the fressly pressed page of course 🙂 )Comments is a way of saying I hear you, I don’t have to agree with you, but I hear you. 

 Comments allow us to have a conversation with our readers, even if just for a moment.  

 Think about this, when you call someone and get their voice mail, you leave a message.  Why because you want them to know you called.  Or when you go to the doctor, don’t you tell them you are there.  Even better, would you go to someone’s home, use their bathroom, eat their food, watch a movie with them and leave without even saying “HELLO”… no because that would be rude.  You don’t go to a restaurant and eat and leave without paying the bill, but more importantly leaving a tip, because the tip is a validation of good food and service.  

 As a blogger, I am happy to see my stats reach into the thousands….but I am even more happy when I know who those readers are and what they thought of what I wrote. 

The Golden Rule…. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you… 

 So the next time you read someone’s blog, whether it’s about the world cup, body image, Obama, BP oil spill or their beautiful little girl,  take a moment to validate them.  Take a moment to leave a comment, to let them know you were there.  Isn’t that what you want for your blog. 

 And while I enjoy all the personal emails, after all that is why I make sure my email address is in every post 🙂 leave me a comment in the comment box, not email…or at least leave the comment first, then email me.  Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate all the great friends I have made and speak to via email…but you guys email me such great comments, I’d like to share them with all my readers. 

 And remember the ultimate validation is reposting someone’s great post on you blog.  So feel free to repost this one 🙂 

 Thank you all for taking the time to read my blog…and giving me the validation I needed to continue blogging….and I thank you in advance for the comments you will leave. 

 Crushing on you, 



Loving the Enemy in my Camp

21 06 2010

The heart wants what the heart wants.

There is a breach in my security system.  A flaw somewhere that I must locate before you get closer to my heart. 

I have spent the last 10 years protecting this camp from danger.  And no one has been able to infiltrate it.  Till now.

 Barb wire fences, double bolted and padlocked doors,  a few hungry pit bulls and a 5 star alarm system could not stop you from getting through.   I have spent most of my life building walls around it to protect it from hurt and pain.  Yet you got in.

 What manner of camouflage did you wear to get through the gates surrounding my life.  An ally  drove you up to my door, and I let you right in.  You masqueraded as my friend.  I surely thought my army would protect me.  They always have in the past.  In my weakest moments, they have been strong and always reminded me of the goal.  They have never let anyone get this close.  With soldiers all around you slowly took my army down.  Even my 5 star generals fell prey to your charms.  You have convinced them to give in, that we should become allies, one unit and they are now asking me to do the same.  They too have fallen in love with you.

 I have barricaded my self in.  I am not ready to give in so completely, not yet.   I  am afraid of you.   I know that my time is short.  Soon you will break through this door too, and I will be forced to face you. 

I should have listened to my intellect.  How many times have I opened the door to kick you out.  Watch you walk away, only to enjoy the view and pull you back in.  I don’t know how you got here, but I know you don’t belong.  And as much as you don’t belong you fit right in as if you always were.

 Why is this relationship so obvious to everyone but us.

 This love thing is strange.  I don’t know where friendship ended and love began.  Was it there from the beginning.

I read a quote once, not sure who said it…but it said “LOVE CANNOT BE FOUND WHERE IT DOES NOT EXIST, NOR CAN IT BE HIDDEN WHERE IT DOES’.

 Everyone in my camp, my life, loves you…

 I think it may be time to reorganize my unit.

 I don’t know how much longer I can do this,

 I hate that I love you this much.

 Should I tell him,  would you?…

We will see

 Good Morning Gorgeous,


Crushed Pinapples and Other Sticky Situations

10 06 2010

Things are changing….there is movement in the camp…

Ok its 11:30 pm and I just got off the phone with gorgeous.  Normally that would not be unusual, if one of the youth is in trouble, Or there is some emergency he, or someone from his office would contact me.  But this call was different.  It wasn’t about the kids.

 He called to check on me.  He remembered I was having surgery tomorrow and wanted to know if I needed anything.  Like a ride to the doctor.  I said no.

 He wanted to know if I was nervous, I said no.  After all its just on my tooth no biggie.  He asked me what kind of soup I liked…..???… Then he talked about when he got his wisdom teeth pulled and how all he could eat was soup.

 All though I played it very cool on the phone… I was really jumping up and down and screaming yes, Yes, YES….was he making the first move….

 Ok…yall see where this is going…and I am not stupid….clearly this is a sign.  As he was talking I have to be honest… I was barely listening… my heart was pounding so hard…I could not believe he was actually calling me just to talk….. A bold move on his part.

 He ended  the conversation by asking me if it would be alright if he called to check on me after the surgery….. I said sure… what else was I gonna say…

Yall know those complications are still there, right?

 Anyway, going to bed with a smile,…. Just thought I blog it….

 Should I tell him,  would you?…

 We will see

 Goodnight Gorgeous,