Shoulders

2 01 2011

Broad and wide

Run my fingers up and down

Strong and thick

Wrap my arms all around

When I lose

Your shoulders I cry on

When I win

Your shoulders I ride on

 Pressed against me

Brings the greatest pleasure

Lying within them

Bring  feelings I cannot measure

Strong enough for me to lean on

Soft enough to lean on me

Shoulders

Wide enough to protect me from harm

Shoulders

Soft enough to make me feel safe and warm

I love your shoulders

Still Loving and Crushing

Good night Gorgeous

Hope

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I Blogged In Your Zone, Do You Validate?

30 06 2010

Blogging Zone

 

 Crush Crew Commentary 

 Did you know there were 3 steps to blogging? 

 Step 1 

To Write 

 The decision to create a blog is not and easy one.  Since most blogs are about everyday events in the life of the writer, the idea of putting your private thoughts out there and can be scary.  Bloggers take a chance on the “real people” in their lives finding out their inner most secrets.  The blog tells all and spares no one.  

 The true blogger is constantly thinking about that next post.  To the true blogger, posting is not just some nilly willy, combination of words and phrases you throw on a page.  But it is truly art.   An expression of yourself and  extension of the conversation you would have with the world if given a giant mic.  Yes there are days when you just put something together to let your followers know that you are still alive, but for the most part, it takes some serious thought.  

 To write is to breathe.  To release, to distress, to blog.  Blogging has become a great necessity. A part of your everyday life.  A must on your to do list. 

 Part 2 

To read 

As bloggers we are connected to a special community.  A community of like-minded people who have decided to put their world on display.  And although there are hundreds of thousands of bloggers out there that makes us unique.  We are bold, daring, inspirational, blunt, brilliant and sometimes foolish.  So we want to see who else is out there. 

 We read the blogs of others to get inspiration for our own.  To get encouragement that writing about one’s life is not a self-centered, egotistical thing to do but a much-needed dose of medicine that society desperately needs.  Proven by the fact that there actually other people doing the same thing.  We read to bring excitement to our own somewhat mundane lives.  We read so that we can say, Hey someone else is worse off or in the same boat as I am.  We read because if its something we should have thought of , are surprised by, or are passionate about, we get to put our 2 cents in, without writing a whole blog about it.   And we read for validation.  For ourselves and to each other. 

 Part 3 

To validate 

 Lets face the truth here.  We all want validation for anything we do in life.  Blogging is no different.  Well there is one difference, we crave it.  Desperately.  We check our stats, constantly, and smile big when we see them go up.  We get all giddy when our inbox says “comment reply”.  And if we get a “please moderate” we leap for joy, because this means a new reader. 

 As bloggers, we love to write, but nothing brings us greater joy than to be READ.  It means our voice is being heard. 

 How do we validate each other, by leaving comments.  Comments is a way of saying I hear you, I don’t have to agree with you, but I hear you. 

 Have you ever had a conversation with someone, only to have them not respond to you or give you a blank stare…. You just know they are not listening and you feel like you are wasting time trying to talk to them.  There is no conversation it is a lecture, only no one is listening. 

 Leaving a comment on someone’s blog is one of the most important things you can do for a blogger.  (outside of making the fressly pressed page of course 🙂 )Comments is a way of saying I hear you, I don’t have to agree with you, but I hear you. 

 Comments allow us to have a conversation with our readers, even if just for a moment.  

 Think about this, when you call someone and get their voice mail, you leave a message.  Why because you want them to know you called.  Or when you go to the doctor, don’t you tell them you are there.  Even better, would you go to someone’s home, use their bathroom, eat their food, watch a movie with them and leave without even saying “HELLO”… no because that would be rude.  You don’t go to a restaurant and eat and leave without paying the bill, but more importantly leaving a tip, because the tip is a validation of good food and service.  

 As a blogger, I am happy to see my stats reach into the thousands….but I am even more happy when I know who those readers are and what they thought of what I wrote. 

The Golden Rule…. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you… 

 So the next time you read someone’s blog, whether it’s about the world cup, body image, Obama, BP oil spill or their beautiful little girl,  take a moment to validate them.  Take a moment to leave a comment, to let them know you were there.  Isn’t that what you want for your blog. 

 And while I enjoy all the personal emails, after all that is why I make sure my email address is in every post 🙂 leave me a comment in the comment box, not email…or at least leave the comment first, then email me.  Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate all the great friends I have made and speak to via email…but you guys email me such great comments, I’d like to share them with all my readers. 

 And remember the ultimate validation is reposting someone’s great post on you blog.  So feel free to repost this one 🙂 

 Thank you all for taking the time to read my blog…and giving me the validation I needed to continue blogging….and I thank you in advance for the comments you will leave. 

 Crushing on you, 

 Hope





Single Mommy Seeking Mate…Must love kids

17 06 2010

Mommy I like your Boyfriend, can we keep him.

Ok this may sound funny coming from me…but trust me I do have some good dating advice…. I have been dating for a while and have learned some pretty good tricks when it comes to dating and the single mom….

 When you have a 12-year-old son who is determined to be the only man in your life and ruin every relationship you have… you have to be tricky…

 First let me say as a mom…and this is my personal opinion….maintaining the respect of your children, especially the boys is very important…. Remember boys treat their girlfriends and wives as they treat their moms…most of the time anyway…you don’t want your children to see you marching an army of men into your home introducing them to your family as daddies and uncles….and if your children are young…they may look back at it one day and think…wow…my mom had a lot of boyfriends…and I don’t mean that in a nice way…this also means that if you are planning on being “intimate”… your children should not know this…I will teach you tricky ways to do this in a later post….

 And for all you women who claim there are not enough good men in the world…raise the sons you would want to marry….for future generations sake…raise good men…

 Anyway back to the subject….so in dealing with my 12-year-old I have learned…. That when his guard is down…it is safe for me to date…

 First, and again this is for women who are looking for a serious relationship and potentially marriage, let the man know up front you have children.  No surprises means no surprises.  You cannot hide children, so he will find out.  Tell him up front…he ask your name tell him…he ask what you do for a living….”I am a single mom of 2 who works at a hospital”… this will let you know in your first few minutes of conversation where he wants to go with the relationship.  Watch his facial expressions, you cannot hide that and it will say it all.  If he is still there, follow-up with question to him like does he have kids, etc… this will let him know that your kids are the most important thing in your life.

 Ok so he is still interested in you.  You go out on that first date….don’t be afraid to talk about your kids to him.  Now if you read a lot of those men’s magazines they will tell you this is a no-no.  But look at it like this…one of your biggest interest is your kids…and of he is not interested in them…he is not interested in you… the reality is being with you is being with them…I am not saying the whole conversation should be about your kids….but by the end of that date he should at least know their ages…be tricky…. Use your feminine wiles..

Sample Bad Convo

 Him: So what do you like to do in your spare time

You: Play with my kids

Him: Oh,   sooo do you like sports

You: I don’t have time for sports just my kids

Him: so what do you like to do for fun

You: Play with my kids

 Sample Good convo

 Him: So what do you like to do in your spare time

You: Wow…my spare time is my me time, no kids…it could be a spa day…or a nice date, smile

Him: Oh,   So do you like sports

You: I am not really big on sports, but my 9 year old just started playing midget football, so I have been really getting into foot ball…just learning the game, how bout you…do you like foot ball

Him: Love it

You:  good… so when we have some questions about the game we can ask you

Him: absolutely, so what do you like to do for fun

You: I have to say, I am having fun now (smile),  but are you talking about kids fun or adult fun (wink)

Ok success you have a second date…you are still mentioning the kids but now you want to find out his views on kids… in a round about way…does he want kids…if he has kids what is his relationship like…Quick Note…if he is not taking care of his kids, do not have a relationship with them or complains his ex is only after money, 9 times out of 10…he is not going to be good with your kids…

 So you have a had a few couple of dates…and things are going well…by this time he should know your kids names, age, what they look like,  and favorite things…

 How will you know when he is ready to meet the kids…when he brings it up…if he is truly getting interested in you and wants to pursue the relationship to that next level…then he will let you know…its time to bring the kids in on the relationship.  After all he feels like he knows them…because they have already been a part of the relationship.  Ok so you have now tricked Eh Hum, prepared the man.

 Tricking the kids (practice restraints)

 As a mom you know the biggest key to anything you do is preparation.  You want to introduce the fact of mommy dating to them.  Invite a cousin or other male family member over to dinner or watch a movie…if you have a male friend (not Boyfriend, just friend) have him over…

  Now the real stuff…This is where you will have to practice restraints….you will have to not allow the kids to see you kissing, touching, being intimate, etc….it will ruin what I am about to tell you and it will not work…

 During the first meeting the kids MUST be distracted… the ideal situation… if you child is having a birthday party invite him over (providing your ex is not a trouble maker).  He will bring a gift, thus pleasing the kid…and the child will be more involved with what’s going on around him than the fact that you brought a date to his party.  No birthday coming up… invite the first meeting to be somewhere inconspicuous. A chucky cheese or McDonald’s play ground.  You and the kids go first and have him meet you there.  Introduce him as your friend…. Not daddy, they already have one and if it doesn’t work out no loss of a dad…and not as uncle…because if it does work out…well there are things that family should not do with each other…

First meeting went well, don’t move him in just yet….

 Future dates, invite him to your child’s game, dance recital or play, go bowling, roller skating to the park…again having him meet you there.. He should interact with the kids with you. The object is to get them to like him.  If the kids like him you are good to go… you are also seeing how he is with them…if it turns out he really hates kids…its easier for you to deal with the hurt of a break up, than for him to hurt your kids…

 Once your kids have established he is a good guy, invite him over to dinner…do something fun before dinner, and after, letting your kids know it would be a good thing to have him around.  Continue going out on dates with just him…then start with him and the kids….also just you and the kids…let them know they are still important in your life…

If the kids like him… you are in there…

 This I learned from my 12 year old…who really likes my crush, and is trying to get me to like him.  Yall didn’t think I was going to do all this writing and not mention him did you? 🙂

 Should I tell him,  would you?…

 We will see

 Good Afternoon Gorgeous,

Hope





I Don’t Want You To Want Me To Want You To Want Me…

11 06 2010

I don’t want to want to see you everyday

I don’t want  your smile to be contagious

I don’t want your eyes to show me life with you

I don’t want your words to excite me or mine to excite you

I don’t want to hear you laugh

I don’t want to know you better

I don’t want you to call me or to hang up

I don’t want to sit down and eat with you,  watch a movie, or listen to music together

I don’t want you to bring me flowers, candy or gifts

I don’t want to kiss you goodnight or good morning

I don’t want scream your name

I don’t want to know what it feels like to lay in your arms

I don’t want dream about you when I am asleep, and think of you when I am awake

I don’t want say goodbye

I don’t want cry for you or miss you

I don’t want to marry you

I don’t want share or build a life with you

I don’t want you to always be there

I don’t want to hear you say I Love You

I don’t want you to want me

I don’t want to want you

 I don’t want to do any of these things or love you,

 But I Do……..

  Should I tell him,  would you?…

 We will see

 Good Morning Gorgeous,

Hope





Cleavage, Cake & other Crazy Crush him Contraptions

7 06 2010

Leaping hurdles for my crush

Cleavage, cake and other crazy crush him contraptions Ok….so this guy had been in my face for 8 months, before I “saw Him”. When he first came around I would actually distance my self from him. I would go in my office and do work or go play with one of the other kids…the other women would always comment on how attractive he was, I hadn’t even noticed. Honestly I didn’t. They would fawn all over him, and I would just sit in my office and laugh…and sometimes so would he. We would actually laugh together at the tactics that were not working. So I had a heads up in the game and didn’t even know it….because now it is me fawning.

So how did I finally see him….we had been sitting in my office talking and joking about something, when he made a comment about me not being like the other women in the office, and he liked that…. then he looked at me and smiled…and although I am sure I looked into his eyes plenty of times when we talked…I mean that’s just common courtesy and my mother raised me right, anyway… I looked at them that time and we just stared a each other then all of a sudden, KA-BOOM, flashes of light, and sounds of clinging cymbals… one of them doggone kids had done threw he basketball to the light and the drum set. When we got up to go check on things, he put he put his hand on the small of my back, to kind of say ladies first out the door, and shocked me….now it could have been the static cling from the carpet….but I’d like to believe it was much more. From that moment on I have never looked at him the same.

                            So let the Fawning games begin.

Luckily for me the weather was breaking. So when my clothes bean falling off it wasn’t so obvious what I was doing. What was I doing…..well we already had that PHILOS connection (see previous post), and now I had to set Eros in motion. I had to make him notice me the way I had now notice him. So my neckline dropped to show off these beautiful and natural 36 D’s. My clothes got a little tighter to expose these well rounded booty and hips that could easily come in 3rd in a contest with J-Lo and Beyonce…and let us not forget this smooth, creamy and tantalizing caramel skin that will make any man just want to drop to his knees and lick my….eh hem, I forgot this blog is G rated….those of you who are old enough continue to imagine…those of you who are too young to understand, I was going to say Caramel apples like the ones you get at the fair :)…. Whew!…anyway…

I had read in cosmos, that men were turned on by lavender and pumpkin spice So all of our cleaning products and deodorizers were now lavender scented. I tried 11 different perfumes until he finally said “wow you smell good today”. After realizing that the other days I obviously smelt bad… I now only wear that perfume just to be on the safe side. We already knew we both like the same sports team, which is not our towns team…so I made some phone calls to friends of the manager, a perk of being a well published author, and scored him some fabulous football tickets and a players meet and greet. Now that I look back at that, I should have gone with him…but oh well…I even wowed him with a one of a kind Christmas gift that he has been wanting since he was a boy…. I searched high and low for it… put in a lot of effort to find it… never left my home, thank God for eBay.

And the final bomb was of course the old wives tale “the way to his heart is through his stomach” it took me so many tries I baked cookies, cakes, parfaits, pumpkin pies ;)…you name it. The kids at the youth center thought I had lost my mind, but they loved every minute of it. It would be too obvious to make it for just him so I had to make enough for everyone. When he came to my home I made fabulous dinners…but nothing…he enjoyed them…but nothing …then he told me of a dessert his mom use to make for him….as bold as I am I was not going to call his mother…so I did the next best thing. I looked it up on the internet… I made it and he loved it. And he called me the perfect woman. I have made it 3 times for him so far, is that overkill, it gets a rise out of him every time….not that kind of rise, remember this is G rated.

So you must be thinking, this girls is a nut, and then your thinking, clearly he is crushing on her too.  She should tell him how she feels.   Again I say its complicated.  There is still more to this story.

So should I tell him….. Would you?…

 We will see

 Goodday Gorgeous,

Hope