DROWNING

26 04 2011

 

Hopeless, I’ve given up

Content, with what life had given me

Saddened, by why my heart was missing

Depressed and in despair was all around

So I took a long walk

To a pier I had visited once before

As I let my feet get closer and closer to the edge

I was overwhelmed with fear

But feeling life had nothing else to offer

I continued to the edge

As I looked over at this ocean before

I thought of the pain this could cause

The heartache, the tears

I also thought about the joys of life

The hugs, the kisses, the smiles

The love and the love making

In spite of my mind fighting against my heart

I jumped in and began to drown

Once I was in,

My natural instinct was to fight

I kicked and screamed

Not wanting to succumb to the waves

But my efforts were in vain

My mind gave into my heart

And I began to take you in

I was engulfed

You filled my lungs

My thoughts, my desire were consumed by you

I felt you all around me

Holding me, carrying me, moving me

Loving me

I am completely saturated by your love

You are in me

And I am in love with you

Where you flow I flow

I am drowning in your love

And have no desire to be saved





Shoulders

2 01 2011

Broad and wide

Run my fingers up and down

Strong and thick

Wrap my arms all around

When I lose

Your shoulders I cry on

When I win

Your shoulders I ride on

 Pressed against me

Brings the greatest pleasure

Lying within them

Bring  feelings I cannot measure

Strong enough for me to lean on

Soft enough to lean on me

Shoulders

Wide enough to protect me from harm

Shoulders

Soft enough to make me feel safe and warm

I love your shoulders

Still Loving and Crushing

Good night Gorgeous

Hope





Men and Boobs

13 09 2010

Weapons of mass destruction

Ok guys help me out here….. What is the fascination with men and boobs….

 This past Friday me and my guy ( 🙂 sounds nice to say)… were watching a movie called Laid To Rest….. It’s a horror movie (we are both horror fanatics) about a young woman who wakes up in a coffin and is stalked by a slasher….not very scary….but very gory…

So on Saturday afternoon we had some friends over and I over hear my guy ( 🙂 ) telling his friends about the movie….all is normal until I hear him say the heroine in the movie had the biggest boobs ever…

 Huh?

Did we watch the same movie…. I remembered the woman having on a large T-shirt throughout the flick….how could he tell she had big boobs….

So I teased him about his x-ray vision and wild and vivid imagination… he assured me she showed the boobs in the flick that’s how he knew….. So me being the woman and having to be right…..got the movie and in fast forward mode replayed it….nothing….then he rewinded it…and no exaggeration this scene must have been 30 seconds long…yes she flashed them…and they were impressive.

 Now this is not a jealous rant….because I am not lacking in this area….now that I think about it….maybe that’s what attracted him to me….nah…but I find it hilarious that we could watch the same movie… and I talk about the actual 1 hour and 25 minutes of movie I saw…and all he got out of it was a 30 second scene…

 Well I guess that’s why when we ladies want something we flash those puppies….it sends men into a stooper…they can’t think….what is it…

 Is it the bounce, the shape, the fact that they are in 3D, past mommy issues…. I just don’t get it…maybe I take them for granted…but seriously…they are just body parts, aren’t they….

It makes me wonder….are there any parts of a man that sends women into a stooper

 Hmmmm

Nope we are far too intelligent for that 😀

Any who…. All is well on the crush front

 So what’s my next move…..what would yours be,

 We will see,

Till then

 A shake of the boobs to ya Gorgeous

Hope





Are You Listening To me?

6 08 2010

First Date

 

Ok so when he asked me where I wanted to go, I said the typical girl thing…. I don’t know…anywhere is fine…. 

Now mind you, me and this man have had conversations over the past 2 years or so…about everything…and I do mean everything… 

Remember we were just friends and co-workers.  It was not our intention to start a dating relationship.  So our past conversations have been about dating, sex, friendship, love, men and women….we have even talked about our bad dates and given each other advice on our genders and dating.  We have discussed in somewhat too intimate details our likes and dislikes….and now as I sit here and write this… I wonder if somehow in the back of our minds we knew this day would come and we were just preparing ourselves for it….. Anyway… 

I told him I didn’t care what we did as long as I could wear jeans….since my last birthday  I have developed a jean and boot fetish… 

So when he arrived I was happy to see that he was wearing jeans…. An although I could tell they were brand new… I must say, he looked very good in them… 

 I asked where we were going and he said it’s a surprise…. Now let me back track a little… this date had originally been set for 6:30 pm, but during the week when we talked he asked if we could change it to a late lunch type thing and do it around 4:00 instead…of course I agreed, but I couldn’t help wondering if this was because he wanted to get it over and done with….you know do it early so if it wasn’t going well he could breakout and not have his whole night ruined… 

 So as I opened the door…he is holding a bouquet…. Now in past conversations I know I mentioned hate flowers….well hate is a strong word…I very strongly dislike flowers… I know that’s weird…what woman doesn’t like flowers…this one…. I don’t even like fake ones…Now I am thankful and cordial to anyone who gives them to me…but lets just say they are starved for attention and die quickly…so when I see him standing there with a bouquet of chocolate covered strawberries… you know the kind you get from those edible bouquet places… I can’t imagine how crazy I must have looked with he biggest grin ever…because he listened when I said I didn’t like flowers and that chocolate covered strawberries were my absolute favorite thing in the world….wow…. 

 So we get in the car and are not lacking in conversation….but I notice we have been driving well over an hour and a half… so of course now I am wondering if he is that ax murder again and is taking me somewhere where they will never find the body….remember guys I have trust issues…so this is hard for me…. So again I ask where we are going and he says, softly “be patient”…. the nerve. 

 So when we pull up to the parking lot of our destination… I couldn’t help but look perplexed… 

A dinner theater.  Showing GREASE no less….what the heck was he thinking….we drove over 2 hours to see Grease… 

I tried to smile like…. Oh I’ve always wanted to see group of bad and unknown actors react an old 80’s film…but he knows me all to well and before we walked in he said he could tell I was not happy, and asked if I wanted to go somewhere else…of course I said no… I mean we drove all this way…he must be a big Grease fan…. Then he said he thought I would enjoy something like this….WHY… 

He went on to say…. “ When we first met, I asked you , why would you move from a great city like NY to this small country town, and what you missed most about NY, and you told me ‘going to  Broadway shows and dinner with your girlfriends’… so this is the closest thing to Broadway I could think of without actually taking you to Broadway…which I thought might be too much for a first date” 

                                        Aaaaaaawwwwwww 

Can you guys see why I love this man? 

 What could I say….A man who actually listens to what I have said and took it into consideration when planning our first date…. 

The only thing I was thinking is ….somebody is going to get some tonight 🙂 

 SOOOO… the play sucked, but the food turned out to be surprisingly good, the conversation was engaging, the ride home was not long enough, …and we made plans for a second date….can’t wait to see he has planned… 

You guys want me to play it cool, I don’t know if I can.  Could You? 

 We will see.  

By the way those strawberries were perfectly sweet, but they paled in comparison to the taste of his lips.  

We just kissed people. 

 Thank You Gorgeous 

 Hope





Don’t Sweat It

5 08 2010

This is just a side note…. I am getting to the date guys…..

 Call it nit-picking, being fickle or too picky…. But I am one of those women who is hard to impress and easy to turn off.  There are certain test that must be passed for a successful dating relationship.  I know everybody has pet peeves but I think mine are a bit extreme… like  I flip out if my kids just push the cereal bag down in the box instead of folding it….my towels have to be folded a certain way…toilet tissue comes from under not over…I know these are normal right?…

 Because of my peeves I have stop dating some guys and others never even made it to a second date…what are they you ask….

 Outrageous or sloppy chewing, you know the kind when either the mouth is just functioning in a non-human way or food is just flying everywhere.

 Then there is a bad kisser…now kissing, to me is the most sensual thing you could do…. If you want to get me in he mood a good kiss is all you need…I don’t want to be sucked in and digested, nor do I want to go for a swim.  I don’t want to be gagged by your tongue or taste what you had for dinner.  I don’t want my head pressed painfully against a wall.  I want to be left breathless, but not because of the pressure you are  putting on my neck.  My lips are a delicacy, treat them that way…..if you don’t know what to do, just follow my lead.

 Smokers, scruffy faces, mix matched clothes, smelly breath, smelly body, sloppy posture, dirty nails,

 Chest hair, some find it sexy…. I am not one…

 And my absolute biggest one… the one I get teased about by my sister and the one that has stopped me and men in our tracks

                                               SWEATING

                                                                                     EEEEEWWWWW

 I am one of those rare people who does not sweat, so you can understand why.  Now mind you…in extreme heat and I do mean extreme, or extreme cases and I do mean extreme cases of nerves I may let it slide…. But when we are in an air-conditioned restaurant having ice cream, there’s no need.  I am not talking about a drip here or there,  even though well eeewww, any way…I have stopped in the act of…you know what…because of sweat.  As I see it bead up… I lose focus, can’t think, want to run….

 So to answer your emails, I am not married, because I am extremely picky 🙂 …but  I do thank you for your concern and care for me….

 But thanks to Gorgeous, all that has changed….

 So do I tell him, Would you?

 We will see,

Good day Gorgeous,

Hope





First Date, 1st base or Home Run, How Far Do You Go?

12 07 2010

Ok… I may be a little out of the loop here…. How far do you go on a first date these days….

Back in my day…wow I never thought I’d ever say that….anyway…you never  kissed on the first date and definitely didn’t go any further unless you were that type of girl….

 According to my kids at the youth center…. The game has changed…. First base is no longer kissing or holding hands….but its doing other things with your mouth, the you skip straight to the home run…. What’s happening here… am I so out of touch with he dating world….

 I am a god Christian woman…. I would never think of doing any of those things with someone on a first date…. I would have to know him very well and for a while first 🙂 ….

 So how far is too far…. On a first date

 Kissing, good…                                                     licking, bad

Holding hands, good…..                                    Stroking with hands, bad

Dancing rhythmically, good…..                     Other rhythmic movements, bad

Cuddling till you fall asleep, good                 Sleeping with each other, bad

Tickling, good….                                                   Tickling bad

Touching, good….                                                Touching bad    

 Orgasmic date, good                                           Orgasm, Never bad 😉

Should I really be worried about whether I went to far or not…. I am a grown woman… I am entitled, aren’t I?  And I have known him for quite a while…

 But I do have to see him again…and I should be able to look him in the face, and take this relationship to the next level.

 So how far did I go…..   I will let you know in my next post…            

 Good Night Gorgeous

Hope





I Blogged In Your Zone, Do You Validate?

30 06 2010

Blogging Zone

 

 Crush Crew Commentary 

 Did you know there were 3 steps to blogging? 

 Step 1 

To Write 

 The decision to create a blog is not and easy one.  Since most blogs are about everyday events in the life of the writer, the idea of putting your private thoughts out there and can be scary.  Bloggers take a chance on the “real people” in their lives finding out their inner most secrets.  The blog tells all and spares no one.  

 The true blogger is constantly thinking about that next post.  To the true blogger, posting is not just some nilly willy, combination of words and phrases you throw on a page.  But it is truly art.   An expression of yourself and  extension of the conversation you would have with the world if given a giant mic.  Yes there are days when you just put something together to let your followers know that you are still alive, but for the most part, it takes some serious thought.  

 To write is to breathe.  To release, to distress, to blog.  Blogging has become a great necessity. A part of your everyday life.  A must on your to do list. 

 Part 2 

To read 

As bloggers we are connected to a special community.  A community of like-minded people who have decided to put their world on display.  And although there are hundreds of thousands of bloggers out there that makes us unique.  We are bold, daring, inspirational, blunt, brilliant and sometimes foolish.  So we want to see who else is out there. 

 We read the blogs of others to get inspiration for our own.  To get encouragement that writing about one’s life is not a self-centered, egotistical thing to do but a much-needed dose of medicine that society desperately needs.  Proven by the fact that there actually other people doing the same thing.  We read to bring excitement to our own somewhat mundane lives.  We read so that we can say, Hey someone else is worse off or in the same boat as I am.  We read because if its something we should have thought of , are surprised by, or are passionate about, we get to put our 2 cents in, without writing a whole blog about it.   And we read for validation.  For ourselves and to each other. 

 Part 3 

To validate 

 Lets face the truth here.  We all want validation for anything we do in life.  Blogging is no different.  Well there is one difference, we crave it.  Desperately.  We check our stats, constantly, and smile big when we see them go up.  We get all giddy when our inbox says “comment reply”.  And if we get a “please moderate” we leap for joy, because this means a new reader. 

 As bloggers, we love to write, but nothing brings us greater joy than to be READ.  It means our voice is being heard. 

 How do we validate each other, by leaving comments.  Comments is a way of saying I hear you, I don’t have to agree with you, but I hear you. 

 Have you ever had a conversation with someone, only to have them not respond to you or give you a blank stare…. You just know they are not listening and you feel like you are wasting time trying to talk to them.  There is no conversation it is a lecture, only no one is listening. 

 Leaving a comment on someone’s blog is one of the most important things you can do for a blogger.  (outside of making the fressly pressed page of course 🙂 )Comments is a way of saying I hear you, I don’t have to agree with you, but I hear you. 

 Comments allow us to have a conversation with our readers, even if just for a moment.  

 Think about this, when you call someone and get their voice mail, you leave a message.  Why because you want them to know you called.  Or when you go to the doctor, don’t you tell them you are there.  Even better, would you go to someone’s home, use their bathroom, eat their food, watch a movie with them and leave without even saying “HELLO”… no because that would be rude.  You don’t go to a restaurant and eat and leave without paying the bill, but more importantly leaving a tip, because the tip is a validation of good food and service.  

 As a blogger, I am happy to see my stats reach into the thousands….but I am even more happy when I know who those readers are and what they thought of what I wrote. 

The Golden Rule…. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you… 

 So the next time you read someone’s blog, whether it’s about the world cup, body image, Obama, BP oil spill or their beautiful little girl,  take a moment to validate them.  Take a moment to leave a comment, to let them know you were there.  Isn’t that what you want for your blog. 

 And while I enjoy all the personal emails, after all that is why I make sure my email address is in every post 🙂 leave me a comment in the comment box, not email…or at least leave the comment first, then email me.  Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate all the great friends I have made and speak to via email…but you guys email me such great comments, I’d like to share them with all my readers. 

 And remember the ultimate validation is reposting someone’s great post on you blog.  So feel free to repost this one 🙂 

 Thank you all for taking the time to read my blog…and giving me the validation I needed to continue blogging….and I thank you in advance for the comments you will leave. 

 Crushing on you, 

 Hope