DROWNING

26 04 2011

 

Hopeless, I’ve given up

Content, with what life had given me

Saddened, by why my heart was missing

Depressed and in despair was all around

So I took a long walk

To a pier I had visited once before

As I let my feet get closer and closer to the edge

I was overwhelmed with fear

But feeling life had nothing else to offer

I continued to the edge

As I looked over at this ocean before

I thought of the pain this could cause

The heartache, the tears

I also thought about the joys of life

The hugs, the kisses, the smiles

The love and the love making

In spite of my mind fighting against my heart

I jumped in and began to drown

Once I was in,

My natural instinct was to fight

I kicked and screamed

Not wanting to succumb to the waves

But my efforts were in vain

My mind gave into my heart

And I began to take you in

I was engulfed

You filled my lungs

My thoughts, my desire were consumed by you

I felt you all around me

Holding me, carrying me, moving me

Loving me

I am completely saturated by your love

You are in me

And I am in love with you

Where you flow I flow

I am drowning in your love

And have no desire to be saved





When Did We Fall In Love

14 02 2011

When did we fall in love?

When did we fall in love

Was it the first time I heard your name

Was it the first time our eyes locked and you said hello

Was it our first date, when you touched my hand

Or the first time we kissed and you touched my heart

When did we fall in love

Was it the first time I screamed your name

As we laid in a sweet embrace

Making love all through the night

 was it the first time we said I LOVE YOU

When did we fall in love

Was it when I took your name

Or the birth of our 1st, 2nd 3rd child

When did we fall in love

Was is when I whispered your name

50 years from now

As we reminisce on our life together

And look into each others eyes for the last time

The answer is yes

Yes to all of these

For every time I see you

 I fall in love all over again

 Sill Gorgeous, Still Crushing

Happy Valentines Day 

Still Gorgeous, Still Crushing





Shoulders

2 01 2011

Broad and wide

Run my fingers up and down

Strong and thick

Wrap my arms all around

When I lose

Your shoulders I cry on

When I win

Your shoulders I ride on

 Pressed against me

Brings the greatest pleasure

Lying within them

Bring  feelings I cannot measure

Strong enough for me to lean on

Soft enough to lean on me

Shoulders

Wide enough to protect me from harm

Shoulders

Soft enough to make me feel safe and warm

I love your shoulders

Still Loving and Crushing

Good night Gorgeous

Hope





A Gift Worth Re-gifting

12 12 2010

My Gift to you and you and you and you and oh you again

It’s that time of year again…where everyone thinks of their loved ones and what gifts they should buy them…

I am reminded of just a few weeks ago when my son hit himself in the head with the hammer…… he thought he was going to die….

 the first thing he did was seek God’s forgiveness…good move….

 but then as he laid on the bed waiting for the doctor….this little 12-year-old boy said something that astonished me…

 He said mommy before I left  the house… I kissed and hugged everyone and told them I loved them….even tay…

 Now tay is that sister he finds most irritating because she is most like him and he does not realize it….

 So of course as a mommy… after reassuring him he was going to be ok….I saw this as a teachable moment…

 I said to him….

 What I am going to say to you…In a “Short Version” of course….

 No matter what pain, hurts and heartaches you go though in life…. Love really does conquer all.

 If you have time to reflect on you life…in your last moments…it will not be a reflection of those who did you wrong, and how you hate asparagus.

But those things that are most important to you.

 It will not be about your house…or your car….that football contract you got…or how many partners you had…

You will not reflect on the bills, the toys, the food

But you will reflect on love…and those you shared that love with…. It will be the hugs and kisses, the smiles and laughs, the excitement and joys…..

 The births and birthday parties…the memories you laugh about

The fears you conquered

 Your proudest moments, your happiest times

 It will be the faces of those you love most…even if you didn’t know it….

 It would be filled with a desire…to do it all over again, not because of what was done wrong…but what was done right…

 At that moment….all pain, hurt, wrongs you have done…and wrongs done to you…have faded….and even if you wanted to…you could not reflect on them because they are over taken by the Love in your life

So to your parents, siblings family and friends, coworkers, enemies and even the stranger on the street…

Love is indeed the greatest gift we can give or receive…and is always worth re-gifting.

Don’t just tell someone you love them today…. Tell everyone….and who knows… in that moment..they may think of you….





A Picture IS Worth 1000 Words

30 11 2010

What do you see

The end of thinking

There was a time when we used our fingers and made lines on paper to add

When our math wasn’t too hard for our parents to help

Dinner was prepared on a stove and cooked with fire

When we sounded out words then used a dictionary to look it up to see if we were right

When we counted by 5’s to tell the time….

When essays were hand written

When we asked our grand parents about history……

When you were not allowed to bring a gun anywhere near where the president was….

Water was free

When we valued human life above animals…

When people thought BEFORE they spoke

When freedom of speech was attached to common sense

When we used our voices to communicate with one another…

When friends were people we met, knew and physically spent time with….

When we were man or woman enough too look someone in the eye when breaking up with them…

When first base was touching of hands

And at the end of a date you hope for a kiss

When our intimate moments we shared with each other and not the world via internet….

When we said I Love You and meant it and not ily…

When people looked you in the eye instead of down at computers, cell phones, and blackberries…

When photos were proudly displayed on the walls of homes, wallets and in photo albums….

When parents were not ashamed to listen to music in front of their children…a time when parents were adults.

When kids asked for change not cards

When children were afraid of getting in trouble by their parents, not the other way around

When mothers and daughters didn’t borrow each others clothes

When a horror movie scared you and not turned you on…

When celebrities were people had a talent

When we learned skills from tag and dodge ball and were not considered bullies…

When teachers hug and children had respect….

When exercise was not done via video game

And children actually went out side to play

Every home had a phone

And our biggest fear about flying was crashing…

 And in GOD we trusted

How are you spending the time you have been given

Spend it wisely

It is

Slowly but surely, fading….it is the end of time





My Sweet Little Boy Has Autism

20 11 2010

I first laid eyes on my youngest son when he was 2 days old….he was placed in my arms and I was told…”he has severe brain damage, he will never walk, never talk…he will be a vegetable and probably not live past the age of 3…we understand if you choose not to adopt him”

I wrapped him in a blanket and cried all the way home…I cried not for him in his condition…because I knew that God created him perfectly….but I cried at a society that could just say something like this to a child….

By taking this broken child and loving him through out his life. I was made whole…he has taught me to be diligent, resilient and to never give up.

He is now 11 years old, walking and speaks a little…But he sings with the voice of an angel…we have come along way. and still have quite a journey to travel…but we will get there.

Communication is more than words…its what’s not said that speaks volumes….

When we celebrated his 3rd birthday, I praised God for the blessing he had given me…and wrote this for him

MY SWEET LITTLE BOY

My son has autism, but it does not have him
Although sometimes I look at other kids,
And wish he was like them

Just like a baby, who cries when they have a need
He communicates with me perfectly
Although he never speaks

He has spoken volumes to me without saying a word
But everything his eyes have said
My heart has received and heard

People are amazed when in the midst of his fits and screams
I see my sweet little boy
Filled with hopes and dreams

I sometimes get mad, when he is rambunctious and loud
But then I think how far he has come
And I feel overwhelmingly proud

He may not speak in a way that seems normal to you or I
But you too could understand every word
If you truly listened or tried

On the rare occasion I see him run and play,
But alone in the corner is where I find him most days

Although I may never hear him call me mom or say his name
He is a child worthy of life and I love him just the same

Many nights on my knees I prayed and I cried,
thanking God for this sweet little boy he has placed in my life

For I know no greater treasure, and have no greater joy
Than to kiss the cheeks of my sweet little boy

JAIRE has autism, but it does not have him,
I look at other children and realize,
My sweet little boy IS just like them

Jaire age 11





You Are Delicious

5 11 2010

When I woke up this morning you were the first thing on my mind

I look down and see 1, 2 special little treats

My mouth begins to water as I take you

One in each hand, fit so perfectly

I gently fondle and caress you

As I contemplate what I am going to do to you

I lay you out, with oils so you easily glide in and out

small circles I stir

I watch as you turn from this soft mass

into a hard delight

Wrapped around the meat that is laid between

I watch you rise and pulsate

You are just about done

I can hardly wait as I anticipate you entering me

I open wide and take in more of you than I can hold

Your juices burst out and onto my chin

I want more so I go in

U R the best way to start my morning

U R Delicious

Don’t you guys just love a steak and egg omelet first thing in the morning

 still crushing,

Hope