My Secret Love Affair

17 08 2010

What did I do and what do I do now…..

 Ok…. So after the first date’s kiss….which was just a small peck….although I wanted to jump on, fully devour and digest him…. I restrained myself and it was just a simple good night kiss….just enough to get a taste and leave a strong desire for wanting more….

 And while our second, third and forth dates have been great…. And the kissing has gotten deeper and longer I am constantly asking myself what did I do…

 Our friendship has not changed… in fact I think its growing stronger…which is a good thing…

 What has changed is our work relationship…while I love keeping things on the low…and I find it very exciting…its getting harder and harder to do…. And I think people are starting to notice…

 Now when he sits in my office work is not mentioned, in company meetings we are finishing each others sentences and bringing up conversations that were not had in a business frame of mind…. We are eyeballing each other from across the room  and there’s a lot of giggling and smiling…. We walk past each other and our hands automatically reach for each others hand….then we realize where we are.

 I feel like I am in a secret love affair….and I actually like it…. I mean we are grown right…. We shouldn’t have to hide this… we are both single, willing and eager to date each other…. Right….

 We are trying our best to keep business from getting personal….but I don’t think its working….. Our lives are intertwining and interchanging…. And we can’t stop it….. But that’s a good thing…..

 It will all be out in the open soon enough…. He told me the other day…he has always had a desire to be a chef and have his own restaurant… he wanted to know if I would still like him if he was to start a new career…..

 Is he crazy….LIKE HIM?

 I told him I would stand by him in whatever he decided to do…as long as he was doing it for him and not for me, that I didn’t want him to give up his dream job or happiness and regret it later….

 He said I make him happy and he thinks he would regret it he didn’t pursue our relationship fully…

Aaaawwwww.. C’mon guys… you gotta love him….

 None the less, I think it may be too soon in our relationship to make such life changing moves…. But that could just be my trust issues kicking in….

 Speaking of too soon…he wants to take me to see a Broadway show in NY….. This would require an overnight stay possibly a whole weekend….  That’s a big step…

But we are adults….we could sleep together without sleeping together…right….

Oh how i miss the days of just crushing…

 Should I go…. Would you…. We will see…

 Till then,

 Hey Gorgeous….meet me in the coat room at noon 😉

 Hope

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12 responses

17 08 2010
kidfriendlyja

I understand your concerns (because my heart is hurting just reading this)
Is there a way to rush in with caution hmmm
now that is the question that I will be asking.

YOu know it is okay for you guys to have life changing talks because you are friends longer and it is the best kind of relationship to be in.

New romance is sooooo sweet.

Wish you luck

18 08 2010
hopelesslycrushingonyou

i know but its a good hurt…. i am loving every minute of it….

18 08 2010
soodenim

This is the ONLY way to start a relationship
in the world today if you want it to last!

Bravo!

Why on earth would you be missing “the days of just crushing…”?
because it means that there’s a little work involved?

You’ll get over it… some of that “work” is plenty of fun!

18 08 2010
hopelesslycrushingonyou

what do you mean in secret….lol…
i’m missing crushing because now its getting hard to find what to write about without seeming like i am a stalker or a slut….. don’t know which one is worse 🙂

18 08 2010
soodenim

YES! Aren’t the secrets necessary for now?
Doesn’t that make it a romantic game for the both of you?
Some areas are ok for PDA and others aren’t… so you have to find creative -ways to spend time…
-share romantic thoughts & ideas…
-call each other on the phone at work while you pretend it’s someone else…

The truth of the matter is…

YOU ARE A STALKER!!! 🙂
it’s ok though
cause it sounds like he’s stalking you back!

enjoy it!

food for thought!

If he changed job and came to visit you at your office,
decorum dictates a certain level of professionalism
in YOUR workplace,
right?

So what’s the difference other than
no one knows other than the two of you?

19 08 2010
hopelesslycrushingonyou

Yes it is very exciting and has sparkd my creativity in ways you could not imagine….I love it….

yes we are joint stalkers….lol

i know he would not be changing the job just for me….he has expressed wanting to do other things before….

but the difference is…. hopefully and eventually…. others will know…as this relationship grows…. and the current situation of our contracts is the issue…and while… i would love to drop his company and go full force…. i have the youth of my program and my employees to think about…. i can’t be selfish, because of our love….or can i…. no i must think of others….for now at least..

Hope

P.S. why you stop emailing me…you don’t crush me no more…;)

19 08 2010
soodenim

Trust Me! You don’t want to go there with me about the imagination thing! 😀

so Stalk On!

Sounds like the change is about to breathe a whole new life into this chapter of your blog!

Dayum Boo! You know your were my first blog crush!
You got my blog virginity! You will always be my crush!

You and all the other “bloglings” that I’ve met are important.
Time has become the issue now… and “that” I’ll explain in an email!

25 08 2010
pleasetellme

totally glad everything is going well so far!!! 😀

4 09 2010
hopelesslycrushingonyou

so far sooooooo good…..

4 09 2010
lightenup

“should I”? That is a question asking someone other than yourself for guidance. Imo, no, since you asked.

One motto that has served me well throughout my life is “When in doubt, don’t.” If you are not sure from within yourself that a move is good for you, don’t take anyone else’s advice in place of that. I would advise you to wait for the green light from within. Consider all the advice and ideas from others you want to, but only use them to get you to the place where you feel that green light within yourself.

I hadn’t checked in on your story for some time. Wow, what “progress”. It is still so much fun. I still find it an amazingly fun one to listen to!

4 09 2010
hopelesslycrushingonyou

you are so right…..we’ve talked about a lot of things…. i just think i should hold on to this for a while….don’t want to seem like a stalker…lol

18 09 2010
Vodka and Ground Beef

Wowzers!!! Sounds like you’re both hot and bothered over each other. Does he have any single, acne-free, employed, multilingual, spiritual but not religious, couch potato but also go-getting friends for me?

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