Anticipation

29 07 2010

Anticipation, Anxious, Apprehensive, Anguished, Agitated, Avid, Anticipating,

 Questioning why we put this date off for a whole 7 days…. I mean why did we have to do it on a Saturday…. We are not kids in school who could not go out on a school night….….right…anyway..

 As each day passes I am anticipating this date more and more… I don’t want to get my hopes too high of it being the perfect date… I have a tendency to do that from time to time… I will build something up so much, and when it happens it’s a let down… I don’t want that to happen here so I am going to try not to think about it too much…as if…

 So…on Friday night… I could hardly sleep…. I am in my bed tossing and turning like a child waiting for Christmas morning…. I keep waking up to the clock to finding that only minutes have passed…I finally get up at 7 am which is a big thing for me… I am not a morning person… I purposely schedule myself for the late shift so I can sleep in…. But this day I cannot….

 I am filled with anxiety all day long….finding my self counting down the hours….constantly checking the mirror and looking out the window to see if he comes early…

 I feel like a school girl with a crush on a teacher… knowing this love if forbidden, but daring my heart to stop…

I am twitchily wondering about my house trying to find something to do to busy myself and pass the time…

 As it gets closer to the time I can feel a flurry of butterflies hatching out of their cocoons and into my belly..

What will we talk about… what will I eat… will I be able to eat….

                                                    Uuuugggghh

 But why am I feeling this way…. I have sat and had dinner with this guy hundreds of times… he has been over to my home…we have played games…and have spent much time alone…why am I so nervous and feeling like a teenager going on a first date…..oh wait…. I am …well not a teenager of course…

 So I sit patiently…trying on several different outfits….. Restlessly  checking makeup and changing jewelry…

Anxiously tapping my fingers, flipping channels, checking the dial tone…

Wondering if this is a smart move, this date…. Taking this step, is it too late to cancel?

               Doorbell

                                                      BREATHE

 So should I tell him,  or Play it cool :), what would you do?

 We will see

 Good Day Gorgeous,

 Hope





I’m Still Crushing

23 07 2010

Hey Guys

Just wanted to let you know I did not drop off the face of the earth…. or run away and elope with Gorgeous….although the thought did cross my mind….

My computer crashed..and as I am sure all you bloggers know… it took my world with it… so I am looking for a new one….and will post all the juice and gossip next week…

Thank you for all the emails….

and I do have a lot to write about….. so till then…

I did not tell him, Yet

Hope





First Date, 1st base or Home Run, How Far Do You Go?

12 07 2010

Ok… I may be a little out of the loop here…. How far do you go on a first date these days….

Back in my day…wow I never thought I’d ever say that….anyway…you never  kissed on the first date and definitely didn’t go any further unless you were that type of girl….

 According to my kids at the youth center…. The game has changed…. First base is no longer kissing or holding hands….but its doing other things with your mouth, the you skip straight to the home run…. What’s happening here… am I so out of touch with he dating world….

 I am a god Christian woman…. I would never think of doing any of those things with someone on a first date…. I would have to know him very well and for a while first 🙂 ….

 So how far is too far…. On a first date

 Kissing, good…                                                     licking, bad

Holding hands, good…..                                    Stroking with hands, bad

Dancing rhythmically, good…..                     Other rhythmic movements, bad

Cuddling till you fall asleep, good                 Sleeping with each other, bad

Tickling, good….                                                   Tickling bad

Touching, good….                                                Touching bad    

 Orgasmic date, good                                           Orgasm, Never bad 😉

Should I really be worried about whether I went to far or not…. I am a grown woman… I am entitled, aren’t I?  And I have known him for quite a while…

 But I do have to see him again…and I should be able to look him in the face, and take this relationship to the next level.

 So how far did I go…..   I will let you know in my next post…            

 Good Night Gorgeous

Hope





He Proposed…And Of Course I said YES

6 07 2010

Ok…ok… people pick your jaws up off the floor…. I am just kidding….although….

 I was more than impressed by him….. Let me back track a little….

I was seriously nervous about having him over…not because it would sort of be our first date…. But because after I said yes to him coming over for my family BBQ…. I realized it was my FAMILY BBQ….and everyone would be there…aunts, uncles, parents and Jeff, y’all remember him right?…

All those stereotypical families you see on TV… that’s my family…

 I have the old southern aunts that all they sit around and talk about all day everyday, is having a man…needing a man and wanting a man…

I have the uncle who always has to control the grill only to burn most of the food and undercook the rest….

 Then there is my father… well lets just say… I am his daughter and have never been married…and because  am very secretive…he has only met one of my boyfriends, my sons father…so the thought of me being with someone would send him over the top.

Now let me tell you about this wonderful man…. My BBQ was to start at 12pm.  He showed up at 10:30am, to help me get everything set up, and if that wasn’t sweet enough, he brought flowers.  I introduced him to my father as a coworker, which I thought was ok.

 The day went pretty much as I thought it would… I didn’t get to spend a lot of  one on one time with him…trying to balance him and my family…so this was definitely not the ideal first date.  I did however get to see him in action and see how and if he would fit in with my extended family.  He did not disappoint.

 He chatted with my dad as if they were old friends….flirted with my aunts and when I noticed that uncle Johnny was not at the grill, I asked him how he did it and he said…and I quote “I simply told him, I am more than just a coworker, and he is a guest in our home”.       

                                                          I love this man.

 The only problem of the night was Jeff, who was clearly seriously jealous.  But that’s another time, another post.

 The last guest left  “OUR” home at about 11:30… he stayed to help me clean up.

 He finally left at 2am…and I have to say I was very disappointed… he didn’t ask me out again, so I figured either my family scared him off….or he felt we were better off…just being friends…. Oh well it is what it is…

 Then at 2:37am called me…and we talked till 7am…and not once did we mention work or anything work related.  He also asked if we could have a “real date”  and Saturday and of course I said yes… 🙂

 So for the next 4 days… I will have butterflies in my stomach…and I have to see him tomorrow…  I hope I can contain myself…

 So…should I tell him of my huge crush on our date…or should I play it cool….

 We will see

 Good Night Gorgeous

Hope





My Hearts Tripple Bypass

2 07 2010

The Symptoms

 My heart aches every time you come around, but it also aches when you’re not there.

I pant heavily in your presence and at the thought of you.

It palpitates, I sweat, get wet, I have hot flashes.

I get giggly and giddy.

My legs get weak, my body shivers.

I forget what I was thinking or about to say.

I often stare blankly, daydreaming.

I can’t sleep and when I do I dream of you.

 Diagnoses

HEARTSLUVSITIS — in laymen’s terms, I am in love.

 The Cure

 To bypass — My past hurts and pain

To bypass —  My fears and worries

To bypass — complications, inhibitions and resistance

The Treatment

 To find a surgeon skilled enough to handle my heart with all of it’s delicate pieces.  A surgeon who can hold it tenderly  in is hands as he brings it back from the dead.  Gently kissing it with his instruments, holding it, squeezing, stroking, pumping comforting and assuring it, it will never break again.  Placing it back where it belongs and monitoring it for the rest of it’s life.

                                  To Open my heart and let you in.  Completely

 The Surgeon

 You.  DR. David.  I entrust you with this task.  I have made an appointment to schedule this procedure. 

                                                          Fix me.  Heal me.  Love me.

 So for those of you who may have difficulty reading in between the lines.  I sort of asked him out.  I say sort of because the conversation went like this.

 Me:  Sooo, what are you doing for the 4th

Him: The usual, hanging out at home alone…. You?

Me:  I have some family coming over for a BBQ

Him: Sounds like fun, I like spending time with family

Me: yeah me too, sometimes (nervous laugh as I am about to ask him the big question)

        (WAIT FOR IT, WAIT FOR IT…….)

Him: (Laugh) can I come?

Me:  🙂

 So, You got me open, now what, What’s next,

We will see

Good Afternoon Gorgeous,

Hope





DAVID

1 07 2010

He's is nothing compared to you babe.

As I sit here in my office staring at you I ask myself when did I change.  I have never been attracted to tall men before.  But as I wipe the drool from my mouth, I can’t help but to imagine my fingers following, touching every inch of your 6’2 astonishing frame…

  My mind wonders what you must think of me in that brain of yours that is so intelligent, I am captivated by your every word and yet it is discerning enough to separate my needs from my wants and provide me with my desires.

 My fingers playing in your head, other head people :), as your bronze hair is cascading across your brow at the perfect length to tickle my belly as you kiss me there.

Your face so clear, precise, perfectly formed and chiseled that I can only imagine the awe on the faces of the angels as YOU were created in his image.

 Your ears are the perfect handle bar to pull you closer, so tasty, yet flexible enough to not just listen to, but hear my whispers.

 Your eyes that although seem to change colors, always reflect the deepest love in your soul.  And in them I see our future.

 Your lips so impeccably sculpted, screaming kiss me, they speak to my every desire and draw me in with every breath.

 As I lean into you, your scent has my hormones doing somersaults.

 Your shoulders so broad and wide they can hold my whole world, yet comforting enough for me to lay my head.

 Arms so muscular they are strong enough to hold all my dreams and gentle enough to embrace all of me.

 Hands that hold on to mine, firmly gripping my passion and gently glide to the warmest parts of my being.

 A pulsating chest that every rise and fall sends waves of emotions through every part of me.   A heart that bleeds love, kindness, life and every beat is music to my ears.

 Abs that ripple so perfectly like a maze leading down to that not so hidden manly bulge the makes me … 🙂 bananas.

 A back so powerfully built, and prominently braced to withstand the pressures of life.  As I follow its river flowing from the valleys to the marvelous hills below.

 Legs that are long and lean running away from no one and only towards me.  They stand firm in their beliefs, buckle in my presence and bow in divine reverence.

Feet that are firmly planted and unmovable, in those size 13 shoes that I will follow anywhere and everywhere.

David, dare I speak your name.  David, I want to scream your name.   David, I want to take your name.

David         DAVid       DAVID…

If Michael Angelo laid eyes on you, he would take a hammer to his David, because he pales in comparison to mine.

 So I have decided to tell him, question is How.  How would you?

We will see

Good Day Gorgeous David,

 Hope