Cleavage, cake and other crazy crush him contraptions Ok….so this guy had been in my face for 8 months, before I “saw Him”. When he first came around I would actually distance my self from him. I would go in my office and do work or go play with one of the other kids…the other women would always comment on how attractive he was, I hadn’t even noticed. Honestly I didn’t. They would fawn all over him, and I would just sit in my office and laugh…and sometimes so would he. We would actually laugh together at the tactics that were not working. So I had a heads up in the game and didn’t even know it….because now it is me fawning.
So how did I finally see him….we had been sitting in my office talking and joking about something, when he made a comment about me not being like the other women in the office, and he liked that…. then he looked at me and smiled…and although I am sure I looked into his eyes plenty of times when we talked…I mean that’s just common courtesy and my mother raised me right, anyway… I looked at them that time and we just stared a each other then all of a sudden, KA-BOOM, flashes of light, and sounds of clinging cymbals… one of them doggone kids had done threw he basketball to the light and the drum set. When we got up to go check on things, he put he put his hand on the small of my back, to kind of say ladies first out the door, and shocked me….now it could have been the static cling from the carpet….but I’d like to believe it was much more. From that moment on I have never looked at him the same.
So let the Fawning games begin.
Luckily for me the weather was breaking. So when my clothes bean falling off it wasn’t so obvious what I was doing. What was I doing…..well we already had that PHILOS connection (see previous post), and now I had to set Eros in motion. I had to make him notice me the way I had now notice him. So my neckline dropped to show off these beautiful and natural 36 D’s. My clothes got a little tighter to expose these well rounded booty and hips that could easily come in 3rd in a contest with J-Lo and Beyonce…and let us not forget this smooth, creamy and tantalizing caramel skin that will make any man just want to drop to his knees and lick my….eh hem, I forgot this blog is G rated….those of you who are old enough continue to imagine…those of you who are too young to understand, I was going to say Caramel apples like the ones you get at the fair :)…. Whew!…anyway…
I had read in cosmos, that men were turned on by lavender and pumpkin spice So all of our cleaning products and deodorizers were now lavender scented. I tried 11 different perfumes until he finally said “wow you smell good today”. After realizing that the other days I obviously smelt bad… I now only wear that perfume just to be on the safe side. We already knew we both like the same sports team, which is not our towns team…so I made some phone calls to friends of the manager, a perk of being a well published author, and scored him some fabulous football tickets and a players meet and greet. Now that I look back at that, I should have gone with him…but oh well…I even wowed him with a one of a kind Christmas gift that he has been wanting since he was a boy…. I searched high and low for it… put in a lot of effort to find it… never left my home, thank God for eBay.
And the final bomb was of course the old wives tale “the way to his heart is through his stomach” it took me so many tries I baked cookies, cakes, parfaits, pumpkin pies ;)…you name it. The kids at the youth center thought I had lost my mind, but they loved every minute of it. It would be too obvious to make it for just him so I had to make enough for everyone. When he came to my home I made fabulous dinners…but nothing…he enjoyed them…but nothing …then he told me of a dessert his mom use to make for him….as bold as I am I was not going to call his mother…so I did the next best thing. I looked it up on the internet… I made it and he loved it. And he called me the perfect woman. I have made it 3 times for him so far, is that overkill, it gets a rise out of him every time….not that kind of rise, remember this is G rated.
So you must be thinking, this girls is a nut, and then your thinking, clearly he is crushing on her too. She should tell him how she feels. Again I say its complicated. There is still more to this story.
So should I tell him….. Would you?…
We will see