I Crush You!

2 06 2010

ok….. I have to admit I already have several BLOGS on this site.  I cannot tell you which ones they are because this is one time I actually do not want to be identified.  Where do I begin.

When I was a teenager, my teachers would always have us do daily journals…. To express our feelings… I hated these…. I would never have anything to write about daily.  I would sporadically write something when something exciting happened which wasn’t too often.  On the rare occasion I would write about a boy I liked.

However, I have always enjoyed writing…. I am a published author and have written over 200 songs and poems.  I have written for several magazines and even the media at times…. But I just could not get that journal thing.

A few years ago I found myself in love for the first time…and guess what I did…. You guessed it… I started a daily journal… for the first time I wrote about something everyday…. The joys and pains of love its ups and downs….and of course the break up. After that break up I of course stopped writing. Until now.

Here I am some 10 years later, and I find myself falling again.  So of course I write.  This time it is for different reasons.  I wrote before to express the love I was experiencing because I wanted to share it with others and him…. This time I write because I cannot say what I want to say to him….I have a serious crush….

I have never crushed so hard on someone in my life and I can’t believe at my age I have such feelings.  Its not that I am afraid to tell him…. In fact I truly believe he knows…I mean I have been acting like a foolish school girl every time he comes around. If you new me you would not believe I could have a crush on someone and not tell them…. I am probably the most vocal person you could ever meet…in the past if I saw a guy I liked I would never wait for him to ask me out…I would just step to him and ask him.  And you would think that at my age, which is over 35, I would not get shy now.  But its not that simple…its complicated…and this guy is different.. He is nothing that I would ever have thought myself to be attracted to, don’t get me wrong he is gorgeous and has a body like a gladiator among other great attributes we will talk about later.….and we have known each other for a while…and I never thought of him that way….until one day he was sitting in my living room and he turned to say something to me…and as corny as it sounds, it was like his eyes shot a bolt of electricity straight to my heart….and I gasped, out loud… he asked me what happened… I said I had the hiccups….dummy…but what happened…I don’t know…. This guy has been coming and hanging out with my family on a regular basis for almost 2 years and I never even saw him until that moment.  And that moment changed everything.

After my last relationship I of course said those words everyone says…. I will never fall again…and I meant it…for 10 years I dated and had complete control of my feelings….never falling…

So how did I get here…. I don’t remember falling…what has this guy done to me and how…

What do I do next….do I tell him…. I can’t…is complicated….why is it complicated….we’ll talk about that tomorrow….until then….goodnight Gorgeous.

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9 responses

3 06 2010
self-I-ish

Seriously!!! you should tell him. He may feel the same, but you won’t know unless you say something to him.

4 06 2010
smokingjacketman

I was randomly cruising the internet, stumbled upon this blog.
I think its pretty inspired, devoting an entire blog to a crush, but what do i know im just a kid from far beyond your situation.

4 06 2010
hopelesslycrushingonyou

I am glad you stumbled here….i am also glad you think this is inspiring…lets hope my crush does when i finally reveal who he is…lol…
i think when it comes to crushes kids have the best insight….we grown ups sometimes have a tendency to over think things… i’d love to have your input or the input or your friends so feel free to speak your mind…looking forward to hearing from you…

6 06 2010
blackshirt13

How sweet. ♥

If this is just a crush, I could not imagine how you would be when you’re in love. You just might write a whole novel or trilogy about it. *winks*

6 06 2010
hopelesslycrushingonyou

LOL….That’s not a bad idea… i just might do that….dedicate a whole book to my crush…. i wonder if anyone would buy it….lol…
Hope

7 06 2010
BeirutBoy

“I can’t believe at my age I have such feelings.”
What do u mean?! You’re human and ur having those feelings…it’s perfectly okay.

7 06 2010
hopelesslycrushingonyou

OMG!!! does this mean i will still have crushes when i am 90 years old and my teeth are in a glass on the night stand, my hip bone replacement is laying on the floor, my hairs is on a manequin on the dresser and i can’t remember what a crush is….heaveans for bid….lol
Hope

12 06 2010
BeirutBoy

hahahaha
yes exactly that’s what i meant 😛
it’s a gift and a curse all at once…

12 06 2010
hopelesslycrushingonyou

lol….yes as MONK would say…. i have to agree with you on this one…
Hope

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