I Blogged In Your Zone, Do You Validate?

30 06 2010

Blogging Zone

 

 Crush Crew Commentary 

 Did you know there were 3 steps to blogging? 

 Step 1 

To Write 

 The decision to create a blog is not and easy one.  Since most blogs are about everyday events in the life of the writer, the idea of putting your private thoughts out there and can be scary.  Bloggers take a chance on the “real people” in their lives finding out their inner most secrets.  The blog tells all and spares no one.  

 The true blogger is constantly thinking about that next post.  To the true blogger, posting is not just some nilly willy, combination of words and phrases you throw on a page.  But it is truly art.   An expression of yourself and  extension of the conversation you would have with the world if given a giant mic.  Yes there are days when you just put something together to let your followers know that you are still alive, but for the most part, it takes some serious thought.  

 To write is to breathe.  To release, to distress, to blog.  Blogging has become a great necessity. A part of your everyday life.  A must on your to do list. 

 Part 2 

To read 

As bloggers we are connected to a special community.  A community of like-minded people who have decided to put their world on display.  And although there are hundreds of thousands of bloggers out there that makes us unique.  We are bold, daring, inspirational, blunt, brilliant and sometimes foolish.  So we want to see who else is out there. 

 We read the blogs of others to get inspiration for our own.  To get encouragement that writing about one’s life is not a self-centered, egotistical thing to do but a much-needed dose of medicine that society desperately needs.  Proven by the fact that there actually other people doing the same thing.  We read to bring excitement to our own somewhat mundane lives.  We read so that we can say, Hey someone else is worse off or in the same boat as I am.  We read because if its something we should have thought of , are surprised by, or are passionate about, we get to put our 2 cents in, without writing a whole blog about it.   And we read for validation.  For ourselves and to each other. 

 Part 3 

To validate 

 Lets face the truth here.  We all want validation for anything we do in life.  Blogging is no different.  Well there is one difference, we crave it.  Desperately.  We check our stats, constantly, and smile big when we see them go up.  We get all giddy when our inbox says “comment reply”.  And if we get a “please moderate” we leap for joy, because this means a new reader. 

 As bloggers, we love to write, but nothing brings us greater joy than to be READ.  It means our voice is being heard. 

 How do we validate each other, by leaving comments.  Comments is a way of saying I hear you, I don’t have to agree with you, but I hear you. 

 Have you ever had a conversation with someone, only to have them not respond to you or give you a blank stare…. You just know they are not listening and you feel like you are wasting time trying to talk to them.  There is no conversation it is a lecture, only no one is listening. 

 Leaving a comment on someone’s blog is one of the most important things you can do for a blogger.  (outside of making the fressly pressed page of course 🙂 )Comments is a way of saying I hear you, I don’t have to agree with you, but I hear you. 

 Comments allow us to have a conversation with our readers, even if just for a moment.  

 Think about this, when you call someone and get their voice mail, you leave a message.  Why because you want them to know you called.  Or when you go to the doctor, don’t you tell them you are there.  Even better, would you go to someone’s home, use their bathroom, eat their food, watch a movie with them and leave without even saying “HELLO”… no because that would be rude.  You don’t go to a restaurant and eat and leave without paying the bill, but more importantly leaving a tip, because the tip is a validation of good food and service.  

 As a blogger, I am happy to see my stats reach into the thousands….but I am even more happy when I know who those readers are and what they thought of what I wrote. 

The Golden Rule…. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you… 

 So the next time you read someone’s blog, whether it’s about the world cup, body image, Obama, BP oil spill or their beautiful little girl,  take a moment to validate them.  Take a moment to leave a comment, to let them know you were there.  Isn’t that what you want for your blog. 

 And while I enjoy all the personal emails, after all that is why I make sure my email address is in every post 🙂 leave me a comment in the comment box, not email…or at least leave the comment first, then email me.  Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate all the great friends I have made and speak to via email…but you guys email me such great comments, I’d like to share them with all my readers. 

 And remember the ultimate validation is reposting someone’s great post on you blog.  So feel free to repost this one 🙂 

 Thank you all for taking the time to read my blog…and giving me the validation I needed to continue blogging….and I thank you in advance for the comments you will leave. 

 Crushing on you, 

 Hope





Gorgeous Got Game

29 06 2010

You Make Me Happy

Ok guys I know this post is cheesy… but I was playing board games with my kids all day…and thinking of my crush….

Boy you are TROUBLE and I know this to be true…

You have played OPERATION with my heart and left me without a CLUE

I fought hard against you, but you sunk my BATTLESHIP

 I used to be the logical one, didn’t believe in love

My HEART was dark like SPADES

In my CRANIUM I knew I was way to smart for that crap

I thought I had SCENE IT all

There was no way I was going to get caught in your MOUSE TRAP

But you sweet and amazing JOKER

Like a whirlwind, a TWISTER, you swept me away

You lured me to your CANDYLAND

Putting me through hurdles, CHUTES and LADDERS

 You played GO FISH with my heart and BINGO chose the winning card

When your around you SCRABBLE my brain

and OUT BURST feelings and desires I haven’t felt in a long time

 You MONOPOLIZE my thoughts and you have turned a TRIVIAL PURSUIT into a crucial quest for you

Even when we CONNECT FOR just a moment, it BOGGLES my mind how I let you have this control over me

You are the only one who leaves me SPEECHLESS

 I am SORRY, I cannot play UNO any longer

You are PERFECTION and I must take a RISK on you

I do realize this my put what we now have in JEOPARDY

 But, I have decided to GO FOR BROKE, I am going to SPILL THE BEANS

Tell you I want to share my LIFE with you

 The rest I will leave to you

 DEAL OR NO DEAL

 So i have decided to tell

Questions is How, How would you tell him?

we will see

Good Morning Gorgeous,

Hope





Things You Shouldn’t Do….

28 06 2010

You shouldn’t open your eyes in the morning and not see me.

You shouldn’t get out of bed before we make love

You shouldn’t leave without kissing me goodbye

You shouldn’t have to go all day without talking to me

You shouldn’t look at your desk and not see a picture of us

You shouldn’t come home from work and think about work

You shouldn’t have to worry if I care about how your day went

You shouldn’t have to watch that movie alone

You shouldn’t have dinner alone

You shouldn’t have to wonder if its ok to call me

You shouldn’t have to hang up when were done talking, I should be there

You shouldn’t question if I am falling for you too

You shouldn’t have to wonder why you make me smile

You shouldn’t go to bed without me

You shouldn’t reach out your hand and not find mine

You shouldn’t have to go to sleep without making love to me

You shouldn’t close your eyes and I not be the last thing you see

You shouldn’t dream and it not be of us

You shouldn’t  be without me right now

You shouldn’t want me and I not be there

You shouldn’t doubt how much I love you

So should I tell him, Would you?

We will see,

Good Day Gorgeous,

Hope





I Have Never Fallen Into A Toilet, Have You?

24 06 2010
 

  

 
 

Honey, Did you fall in the toilet? Again?

 

Crush Crew Club Commentary 

 Ok ….now I know there are issues with men and their somewhat childlike behaviors… but ladies come on some things are just too much and I have to agree you are being a nag…. 

 I just had a 2 hour conversation with a girl friend about the things her husband does not do….he does not pick up his underwear off the bathroom floor, he leaves his socks and clothes on the bedroom floor, he makes a mess in the kitchen, when he shaves he leaves hair all over, he eats on the couch and leaves food stains everywhere, he is constantly burping and farting and he always leaves the toilet seat up…. Ok this is where I jumped in…. 

 All my life I have heard women complain  that this is their biggest complaint about men….and I don’t want to do an injustice to my gender but…what is the big deal….so what he left the toilet seat up, just put it down…I don’t understand why you would be afraid of falling in a toilet…do you fear you will flush yourself down the drain and end up swimming in the Atlantic…. Trust me you won’t fit… and if you really think about it…men could complain we leave the seat down… 

 I grew up with 2 brothers, I now have 3 sons and have dated quite a bit…and the solution to this problem is simple…. 

Look before you sit. 

 I have to say I would rather a guy leave the toilet seat up…at least then I know he knows how to use it, and that his stream is going where its supposed to….I don’t like guys (my sons excluded) who do not put the seat up….leaving a trail of juices on the seat…and I sit in it…. Now that is nasty. 

To be honest, I have gone in the bathroom after guys, seen the seat down…and my first thought was not…awww isn’t he courteous, but it was, dude pees with the seat down…. 

 As for leaving socks, underwear, other clothing around and having to clean up behind him….well we have to blame mom for that one….and speaking as a mother…although I do try to teach my sons better…lets face it women are nurturing and we will pick up after our boys…even while yelling at them to put their stuff away…we are picking their stuff up and putting them away… so men get it in their heads that, that is what women do…. 

 And when you think about it…it is true… its what we do… that’s why we complain about what he doesn’t do, because we are so used to doing it for him…but seriously ladies think about it…we love having that man there to do those things for…and think about what he does for you… 

 When you can’t reach that cup at the top of the cabinet, lift that heavy box, or when you are moving the couch for the 5th time….When you want the house painted, need a jar opened or something fixed….when you are tired of cooking and he takes you out…what about when you are sad or had a bad day and you just lay in his arms for comfort…. Think about how he makes you feel when he kisses you and you make love….Those beautiful children you have together  and all the great memories…. So what he is a mess….he is your mess and you love him.

 Now guys…as for the farting and Burping…lets get that under control…its ok to do that when your around your buddies…but we ladies do not think that is cute…its gross… 

So ladies, the next time you walk towards your bathroom in fear, think about the time you stood on the table screaming for him to kill a spider…and who got the job done for you…. Then suck it up, smile, stretch forth your hand, take one for the team, and put that seat down…. 

 Still thinking about you gorgeous, 

 Hope 





Spending The Day With You Is Like…..

23 06 2010

A kid with a lollypop………..Happy                                                       

Lays potato chips……………………….Can’t have just one 

Cocoa cola ……………………………..Smile, it’s the real thing 

A French toast vanilla bean cheese cake………..Extra special 

A cold drink on a hot day……..Refreshing 

Watching a good movie…………Entertaining 

Watching the sunrise…………………….. Anticipating the day 

Watching a football game……………….Exciting 

Frosted Flakes …………………………..THeeeeeeere Great 

Winning the lottery……………… One in a million 

Listening to your favorite song………………….. Puts you in the mood 

Fishnet stockings………………………Such a turn on 

A great temptation…………………….I want you so bad, I could cry 

The first time………………………… Painfully Good 

Having a baby………………………….Unforgettable 

A kiss from your child………………….Filled with love 

The perfect date ……………………….. Wish it would never end

A gift from God……………………….. A true Blessing 

I can’t wait to go to bed at night….thinking about spending the next day with you…

So should I tell him, Would you?

We will see,

Good morning Gorgeous

Hope





Loving the Enemy in my Camp

21 06 2010

The heart wants what the heart wants.

There is a breach in my security system.  A flaw somewhere that I must locate before you get closer to my heart. 

I have spent the last 10 years protecting this camp from danger.  And no one has been able to infiltrate it.  Till now.

 Barb wire fences, double bolted and padlocked doors,  a few hungry pit bulls and a 5 star alarm system could not stop you from getting through.   I have spent most of my life building walls around it to protect it from hurt and pain.  Yet you got in.

 What manner of camouflage did you wear to get through the gates surrounding my life.  An ally  drove you up to my door, and I let you right in.  You masqueraded as my friend.  I surely thought my army would protect me.  They always have in the past.  In my weakest moments, they have been strong and always reminded me of the goal.  They have never let anyone get this close.  With soldiers all around you slowly took my army down.  Even my 5 star generals fell prey to your charms.  You have convinced them to give in, that we should become allies, one unit and they are now asking me to do the same.  They too have fallen in love with you.

 I have barricaded my self in.  I am not ready to give in so completely, not yet.   I  am afraid of you.   I know that my time is short.  Soon you will break through this door too, and I will be forced to face you. 

I should have listened to my intellect.  How many times have I opened the door to kick you out.  Watch you walk away, only to enjoy the view and pull you back in.  I don’t know how you got here, but I know you don’t belong.  And as much as you don’t belong you fit right in as if you always were.

 Why is this relationship so obvious to everyone but us.

 This love thing is strange.  I don’t know where friendship ended and love began.  Was it there from the beginning.

I read a quote once, not sure who said it…but it said “LOVE CANNOT BE FOUND WHERE IT DOES NOT EXIST, NOR CAN IT BE HIDDEN WHERE IT DOES’.

 Everyone in my camp, my life, loves you…

 I think it may be time to reorganize my unit.

 I don’t know how much longer I can do this,

 I hate that I love you this much.

 Should I tell him,  would you?…

We will see

 Good Morning Gorgeous,

Hope





Single Mommy Seeking Mate…Must love kids

17 06 2010

Mommy I like your Boyfriend, can we keep him.

Ok this may sound funny coming from me…but trust me I do have some good dating advice…. I have been dating for a while and have learned some pretty good tricks when it comes to dating and the single mom….

 When you have a 12-year-old son who is determined to be the only man in your life and ruin every relationship you have… you have to be tricky…

 First let me say as a mom…and this is my personal opinion….maintaining the respect of your children, especially the boys is very important…. Remember boys treat their girlfriends and wives as they treat their moms…most of the time anyway…you don’t want your children to see you marching an army of men into your home introducing them to your family as daddies and uncles….and if your children are young…they may look back at it one day and think…wow…my mom had a lot of boyfriends…and I don’t mean that in a nice way…this also means that if you are planning on being “intimate”… your children should not know this…I will teach you tricky ways to do this in a later post….

 And for all you women who claim there are not enough good men in the world…raise the sons you would want to marry….for future generations sake…raise good men…

 Anyway back to the subject….so in dealing with my 12-year-old I have learned…. That when his guard is down…it is safe for me to date…

 First, and again this is for women who are looking for a serious relationship and potentially marriage, let the man know up front you have children.  No surprises means no surprises.  You cannot hide children, so he will find out.  Tell him up front…he ask your name tell him…he ask what you do for a living….”I am a single mom of 2 who works at a hospital”… this will let you know in your first few minutes of conversation where he wants to go with the relationship.  Watch his facial expressions, you cannot hide that and it will say it all.  If he is still there, follow-up with question to him like does he have kids, etc… this will let him know that your kids are the most important thing in your life.

 Ok so he is still interested in you.  You go out on that first date….don’t be afraid to talk about your kids to him.  Now if you read a lot of those men’s magazines they will tell you this is a no-no.  But look at it like this…one of your biggest interest is your kids…and of he is not interested in them…he is not interested in you… the reality is being with you is being with them…I am not saying the whole conversation should be about your kids….but by the end of that date he should at least know their ages…be tricky…. Use your feminine wiles..

Sample Bad Convo

 Him: So what do you like to do in your spare time

You: Play with my kids

Him: Oh,   sooo do you like sports

You: I don’t have time for sports just my kids

Him: so what do you like to do for fun

You: Play with my kids

 Sample Good convo

 Him: So what do you like to do in your spare time

You: Wow…my spare time is my me time, no kids…it could be a spa day…or a nice date, smile

Him: Oh,   So do you like sports

You: I am not really big on sports, but my 9 year old just started playing midget football, so I have been really getting into foot ball…just learning the game, how bout you…do you like foot ball

Him: Love it

You:  good… so when we have some questions about the game we can ask you

Him: absolutely, so what do you like to do for fun

You: I have to say, I am having fun now (smile),  but are you talking about kids fun or adult fun (wink)

Ok success you have a second date…you are still mentioning the kids but now you want to find out his views on kids… in a round about way…does he want kids…if he has kids what is his relationship like…Quick Note…if he is not taking care of his kids, do not have a relationship with them or complains his ex is only after money, 9 times out of 10…he is not going to be good with your kids…

 So you have a had a few couple of dates…and things are going well…by this time he should know your kids names, age, what they look like,  and favorite things…

 How will you know when he is ready to meet the kids…when he brings it up…if he is truly getting interested in you and wants to pursue the relationship to that next level…then he will let you know…its time to bring the kids in on the relationship.  After all he feels like he knows them…because they have already been a part of the relationship.  Ok so you have now tricked Eh Hum, prepared the man.

 Tricking the kids (practice restraints)

 As a mom you know the biggest key to anything you do is preparation.  You want to introduce the fact of mommy dating to them.  Invite a cousin or other male family member over to dinner or watch a movie…if you have a male friend (not Boyfriend, just friend) have him over…

  Now the real stuff…This is where you will have to practice restraints….you will have to not allow the kids to see you kissing, touching, being intimate, etc….it will ruin what I am about to tell you and it will not work…

 During the first meeting the kids MUST be distracted… the ideal situation… if you child is having a birthday party invite him over (providing your ex is not a trouble maker).  He will bring a gift, thus pleasing the kid…and the child will be more involved with what’s going on around him than the fact that you brought a date to his party.  No birthday coming up… invite the first meeting to be somewhere inconspicuous. A chucky cheese or McDonald’s play ground.  You and the kids go first and have him meet you there.  Introduce him as your friend…. Not daddy, they already have one and if it doesn’t work out no loss of a dad…and not as uncle…because if it does work out…well there are things that family should not do with each other…

First meeting went well, don’t move him in just yet….

 Future dates, invite him to your child’s game, dance recital or play, go bowling, roller skating to the park…again having him meet you there.. He should interact with the kids with you. The object is to get them to like him.  If the kids like him you are good to go… you are also seeing how he is with them…if it turns out he really hates kids…its easier for you to deal with the hurt of a break up, than for him to hurt your kids…

 Once your kids have established he is a good guy, invite him over to dinner…do something fun before dinner, and after, letting your kids know it would be a good thing to have him around.  Continue going out on dates with just him…then start with him and the kids….also just you and the kids…let them know they are still important in your life…

If the kids like him… you are in there…

 This I learned from my 12 year old…who really likes my crush, and is trying to get me to like him.  Yall didn’t think I was going to do all this writing and not mention him did you? 🙂

 Should I tell him,  would you?…

 We will see

 Good Afternoon Gorgeous,

Hope